Lactose And Glucose And Gluten, Oh My!

(I’m at the grocery store when I bump into my great-aunt. It’s been a couple months since we last talked.)

Great-Aunt: *gestures to the bread in my basket* “So, you’re still doing the glucose thing?”

Me: “Uh, what do you mean?”

Great-Aunt: “The bread and milk thing. The glucose intolerance.”

Me: “I’m lactose intolerant, if that’s what you mean. That’s just milk, though.”

Great-Aunt: “Oh! What is glucose, then?

Me: “Sugar, as in ‘blood sugar.’ I thought you were asking if I was diabetic!”

(We share a laugh.)

Great-Aunt: “But seriously, what’s the thing with the bread called? The intolerance?”

Me: “That’s gluten, not glucose.”