Lacking A Few Dollars Of Kindness

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Right | July 15, 2017

(I work concessions at an arena that is often used for conventions. It is an annual event by some religious spokesperson, so the attendees are mostly stuck-up old church ladies. One such customer comes up to the stand to ask for change.)

Server: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t make change from the registers. The drawer only opens when we put in a sale. We can’t open it ourselves.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, all right. Give me a cup of coffee, then.”

(The server gets her coffee, puts in the sale, and gives her three $5 bills and a $1 bill as change. Then, naturally, he closes the drawer.)

Server: “Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Excuse me! This $5 bill has INK smudged on it! I want a different bill!”

Server: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

Customer: “I don’t want change. I just want a different bill!”

(At this point, the server realizes he’s getting nowhere with this lady and goes to get me, who is the manager. As such, I keep small rolls of bills in my apron pockets to make change for the servers if necessary.)

Me: “What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “This bill has ink on it! I want a different bill.”

Me: “Sure, I can do that. Here, I’ll trade you for this nice, brand new $5 bill.”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Thank you! All I wanted was some change!”

(You’d think that would be the end of it, but no. A few moments later…)

Customer: “EXCUSE me!”

Server: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “This coffee is terrible. I don’t want it anymore. Give me my money back!”

Server: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Let me go get the manager again to give you your refund.”

(He goes and explains the situation to my mother, who is the only one in the stand with a key to open the register for refunds.)

Server: *remembering that she originally came up to ask for change* “Would you like your refund back in dollar bills, or quarters, or…?”

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Server: “Yes, but since you asked for change earlier, I thought I’d offer to give you coins if that’s what you needed.”

Me: “We can give you your $4 back in dollars, or quarters, or whatever you need. It doesn’t make any difference to us.”

Customer: “No, just takes these back and give me my $20.” *pulls out the three fives and one dollar from her original transaction*

Me: “You want a $20 bill back?”

Customer: “Yes, give me my $20 back!”

(This is my least favorite event, even though the venue hosts monster truck rallies, boat shows, and boy band concerts. The previous year, the attendees were so obnoxious that the speaker actually lectured them on the need to tip and be polite to the workers. Apparently not all of them took it to heart.)  

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  • Geki Gangar

    The biggest outrage here is $4 for concession stand coffee.
    Oh, and demanding that people tip concession stand workers is pretty ridiculous as well.

    • Souless night

      Concession stands are known for being overpriced… also tips aren’t required of people but everyone in a sort of industry appreciates it. Doesn’t matter what their job is it’s called appreciation

      • SylviasDaddy

        No, it’s called a racket.

        • Jeffery Bucove

          thus you equate an employee with his employer: how very balanced of you

          • SylviasDaddy

            Mr. Bucove:
            The “racket” to which I had reference is the well-nigh universal expectation (in some cases amounting to a DEMAND) for a “tip.”

      • Celoptra

        in North America techinally tips ARE required by people if i’s in a resturant like Red Lobster since business pay their servers LESS then mimium wage so they relay on tips to pay bills

        • disqus_7xljp2NM5j

          Concession stands aren’t restaurants. People don’t and shouldn’t tip there.

        • Gnoman

          Federal law (and almost all (if not all) state laws) require even tipped employees to make at least minimum wage. If the tips for the day are insufficient, the employer MUST pay the difference.

          • Donnell Hanog

            Proving that tips for the day are insufficient, however, is the sticking point. People get cheated all the time by employers taking advantage of that to claim the employee made more tips than they reported to their employer.

      • Shadow-Bloodedge

        Oh whoops, misclick, that was meant for Geki.
        Can you tell how new I am? Lol

        • Souless night

          Lol….

    • Matt Westwood

      Yeah but ripping off nasty old b1tches like this is a national service.

    • Donnell Hanog

      You want cheap coffee, go to a restaurant. Overpriced stuff at concessions stands, which get far fewer customers, is pretty typical. Of course, a conservative like you would already know and support that, right? I mean, it’s only good business sense.

    • Lany Chabot-Laroche

      This is at a convention. Odds are it costs the shop well over a grand just to have the space for the weekend, so they need to adjust the price to make a profit.

      People who think it’s too expensive are in no way forced to buy coffee there.

    • Jenni Sowvlen

      I went to a concert recently where they charged $4 for a cup of tap water

    • Shadow-Bloodedge

      Does anyone force you, twist your arm to make you pay for the concession stand food? No? Then quit complaining about it like an old cheapskate.

      And I guess you really don’t read either. There was no demanding to tip concession stand workers, only a lecture. And the followers of this poor speaker did not listen. Plain and simple. Just because one says something does not mean others will listen. Or in your case just because one writes something does not mean you will read and understand it in full.

    • Jeffery Bucove

      your ‘demand’ reminds me of the religious right’s attempt to frame their need to interfere in other people’s lives as ‘freedom’

      your perception of a need for charity does not constitute a demand on the part of the under trodden attempting to serve you

  • Vicemage

    I’m not shocked by this at all. I used to attend an anime convention that frequently shared convention space with a religious convention, and can recall one year when one of our guests went over to lecture the religious convention attendees after several incidents of them harassing the anime convention attendees, including at least one instance of punching someone in an elevator because they were wearing a costume.

    There’s a lot of “religious” people out there who need to pay a little more attention to what their religion is actually teaching them.

    • adamsbja

      By their fruits shall you know them. Do you gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles?

    • Vira Vandom

      I’d rather they not take that last paragraph to heart; there are multiple verses that basically say “kill Vira because she’s not a xian!”
      To which, I HAVE gotten a few death threats for that very same reason.

      (If anybody claims “old testament, doesn’t count”, then where the fel is the creation story? Although, it’s ripped off of older beliefs, anyhow.)

      If somebody finds themselves to be too kind for that religion, I suggest they question it; question if they should still be a part of it.

      • NessaTameamea

        Many “Christian” people only believe in the passages they want to believe in, and sadly it’s sometimes the totally wrong ones.
        God is cruel because he killed all those Egyptians for not believing in him and wanting to enslave his precious Israelites? Nooo you got it all wrong, God is kind and loving and caring, don’t take the book too seriously.
        God says to hate gay people because they’re gay? Well of course! It’s in the Bible, I as a god-fearing Christian must follow this rule blindly!

        I’m not against religion and faith by itself btw, but I hate hypocrisy and double standards. I would be fine with Christians saying that some of the passages are wrong or don’t really work outside of the historical context, but most of the Christians I encountered believe that the Bible is in every way perfect and can not be questioned.

        • Michael Bugg

          So you’re saying that it was okay for the Egyptians to enslave the Israelites, to refuse to let them so much as go into the wilderness to have a religious celebration (which was Moses’ opening bargaining position; Exo. 5:3), and kill their children? Moreover, God started the plagues relatively mildly to get their attention. Pharaoh still refused to let the Israelites go and the Egyptians still backed Pharaoh.

          Funny how you’ll happily skip over an enormous chunk of the narrative in order to slander the God of the Bible as a bloodthirsty monster.

          As far as Christian ethics are concerned, the general consensus from the third century on in Christianity is that the specific ritual practices involving the temple were no longer in effect–in no small part because there was no longer a temple in Jerusalem to host them. However, there has never been a question about the moral constraints taught consistently in Scripture still being active, whether we’re talking about “Love your neighbor” or the Bible’s rules on sexual purity. Simply put, there’s no inconsistency in traditional Christianity on this point.

          Having said that, I don’t think Christians or Jews have any warrant for attacking gay people who are completely outside of their fellowships, though I do respect the rights of any group to define what is and is not acceptable behavior within its fellowship.

          • heymoe2001

            So you’re saying that some murder and genocide is okay? And you’re okay with a deity that gets to pick and chose when things are sins and when they are righteous?
            Ok.

          • Michael Bugg

            I’m saying that the Egyptians were all culpable of murder, yet were given every chance to repent and release the Israelites before the final plague. For example, you’ll notice that before the seventh plague, Moses gives fair warning to get everyone inside in order to save Egyptian lives (Exo. 9:19-20). Therefore, having given every opportunity to the Egyptians to receive his mercy, God was indeed wholly just to take life-for-life for all of the Israelite children that the Egyptians had murdered.

            As always, you have to ignore pretty much the entire narrative in order to condemn God for taking action. In fact, were it your own child who had been murdered by drowning in the Nile, you’d wonder why the heck God was giving the Egyptians so many chances to simply back down from the confrontation and let your people go.

          • mashava

            Exodus 10:1- God made sure the Pharoah couldn’t let the Jews go even though the Pharoah several times wanted to. Because freewill isn’t actually a thing in the Bible

            Know your sh*t before you mouth off.

          • Michael Bugg

            Read again: Exo. 7:13-14, 22; 8:15, 19, and 32 all make it clear that Pharaoh was repeatedly hardening his own heart. God then hardens Pharaoh’s heart for the sixth plague (9:12) to get him to the seventh, which as I’ve already pointed out is the one where God, through Moses, gives a very merciful warning to the Egyptians so that they could save their lives by taking cover. Pharaoh then hardens his own heart yet again even after seeing God show his mercy (9:34-35). THAT is when God firmly hardens Pharaoh’s heart right up until the end, and the narrative makes it clear that this was part of the punishment that Pharaoh had incurred as a result of his own repeated reneging on his deals to release Israel.

            Moreover, God never hardens the hearts of the Egyptians. They know that the Hebrew God is inflicting these punishments on them, they knew that Moses was the one who warned them to take shelter from the hail storm of the seventh plague, yet they continue to side with their own Pharaoh in keeping the Israelites as slaves (just as they had previously sided with their Pharaoh in murdering children), thus making them culpable.

            I know my s*** quite well, thank you. I can read these passages in the original Hebrew and have studied dozens of commentaries and ancient histories from a wide range of religious and scholarly points-of-view in order to understand their backdrop. Can you say the same?

          • Janet Snow

            God’s fine with his own people owning slaves and murdering other religious groups.

            “However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the
            foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of
            such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your
            land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your
            children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like
            this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated
            this way.” (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT)

            “Suppose you hear in one of the towns the LORD your God is giving you
            that some worthless rabble among you have led their fellow citizens
            astray by encouraging them to worship foreign gods. In such cases, you
            must examine the facts carefully. If you find it is true and can prove
            that such a detestable act has occurred among you, you must attack that
            town and completely destroy all its inhabitants, as well as all the
            livestock. Then you must pile all the plunder in the middle of the
            street and burn it. Put the entire town to the torch as a burnt
            offering to the LORD your God. That town must remain a ruin forever; it
            may never be rebuilt. Keep none of the plunder that has been set apart
            for destruction. Then the LORD will turn from his fierce anger and be
            merciful to you. He will have compassion on you and make you a great
            nation, just as he solemnly promised your ancestors. “The LORD your God
            will be merciful only if you obey him and keep all the commands I am
            giving you today, doing what is pleasing to him.” (Deuteronomy 13:13-19 NLT)

            They can even beat their slaves as long as they don’t die within 1-2 days from their injuries.

            “When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that
            the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the
            slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the
            slave is his own property.” (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)

            (So I’m assuming if the slave dies after 3 days the master is in the clear? So thoughtful.)

            It’s a complete double-standard to say that the Egyptians deserved it because they were cruel. God’s own people were cruel, but because they were God’s chosen people, it’s somehow okay.

          • A Stead

            Firstly, read again Exo 7:03-04. Here is the version I found:

            1 Then the LORD said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron will be your prophet. 2 You are to say everything I command you, and your brother Aaron is to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go out of his country. 3 But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my signs and wonders in Egypt, 4 he will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites.

            Sounds VERY much like God planned to harden the Pharaoh’s heart… Because let’s be honest, if a God was sending you plagues and your priests were unable to stop them, I’d expect you to think something was up.

            On top of that, I’d have expected a bit of an uprising if the people found out that the Pharaoh had condemned them to these plagues, and an actual God had allowed the jews to be freed. Something I’d have expected to see historical evidence of, but which is strangely missing.

          • Star

            So basically god punished innocent children who had no part in he murder of other children.

          • Ivan McIntosh

            The final plague was to kill all the firstborn. Were the Egyptian babies and young children guilty of murder? You can’t win an Exodus morality argument…the baby killing trumps everything.

          • Bumble Bree

            Historically speaking there is absolutely no archaeological or anthropological evidence that the Egyptians actually enslaved the Israelites. That is a myth.

          • Michael Bugg

            Irrelevant to the conversation at hand, which works as well whether we’re discussing the Bible as history or as literature, but okay: Exactly what evidence do you think we should have that we don’t?

          • 3-I

            Oh, hey, look, this talking point again. Because five thousand years of written record are suddenly not evidence when Jews are the ones who maintained it.

          • Bumble Bree

            It has nothing to do with the fact that Jews maintained it. Just that there is literally no historical evidence except their word for it and that same word says that a god saved them all. I mean really? Yeah. Magic! *eyeroll*

          • 3-I

            There used to be no historical evidence for the existence of TROY.

          • Bonita Kale

            A great deal of harm has been done by calling the Bible “the word of God.” Christ only is the Word of God. The Bible is our feeble attempt to recall and understand God. Not perfect. Not dictated by God. Just the best we have.

          • Star

            Didn’t god kill all the firstborn children in Egypt? Why exactly was that ok?

        • Jonathon Side

          What tickles me is when people get the passage from Leviticus (about men lying together being an abomination) as a tattoo.

          … despite Leviticus also prohibiting marks on the skin just a few passages down.

        • Bonita Kale

          Right, we all pick and choose from the Bible. I stick to the New Testament, mostly. But if St. Paul says something that to me means God is evil–then the heck with Paul. I am happy with saying, “Okay, I’m misunderstanding, or the Bible is wrong. Either is possible, but God does not enjoin hate.”

      • Michael Bugg

        Really? Please list these verses for us. I’m curious.

    • QueenCheetah

      I’m guessing that wasn’t Acen? They would’ve been hilariously outnumbered by angry nerds, lol. I still find it amazing how un-Christian-like some self-proclaimed church-goers really are… someone’s wearing cat ears? Better break their face in!

      • David Sandiford

        For it is written in the Bible that if someone slaps you on the cheek you should turn the other cheek, but if they wear an anime costume you must smite them.

        Oh wait, no, it doesn’t say that.

      • Vicemage

        Acen takes over too much space (though there’s inevitably prom groups around every year); Ohayocon tended to share with a lot of odd things though, including Lawn and Garden shows, Cheerleader conventions, and the problematic Jesuscon.

        And if I remember it correctly, it was a Sesshoumaru cosplayer in an elevator who got punched. Plenty of their people kept forcing their way into our spaces, too, but they were at least about a 50/50 mix of “openly hostile” and “quietly curious.”

        • Ophelia

          That was about the same response as when Anime Expo at the Los Angeles Convention Center had to share space with the X-Games a few years ago: Most of the X-Games attendees were completely confused by the cosplayers (apparently, most were not familiar with dressing in costume when it’s not Halloween), as were some of the announcers for the X-Games. While the X-Games staff, athletes, and officials were mostly respectful people, and some of the spectators were amused and in awe of the cosplay and wondered what was going on, some of the other spectators for the X-Games behaved in a way that I could really only describe as an adult version of jocks vs. nerds.

          There was enough of that hostility that, from what I heard, X-Games and Anime Expo now schedule around each other. They make sure they’re never both there on the same weekend.

    • Michael Bugg

      I remember something similar happening at DragonCon one year. Instead of getting offended and whining about it, the more assertive and/or mischievous con-goers engaged the Southern Baptists (IIRC) instead. There was some amusing trolling, but I saw a number of actually engaging conversations taking place as well, and got involved in one. (It’s interesting to be in the position of straddling the line between SF/Fantasy geek and being more Biblically conservative than your average SB.)

    • heymoe2001

      The guy was punched in the name of god. Totally righteous assault, dude.
      (typed in sarcastic font)

    • Snugglesgodofdeath

      As a Christian, I can very honestly say that the rest of us dislike these sorts of “Christians” too. I blame the preachers. There are so many people leading churches nowadays that simply use them as their own private cult of personality. My own church devolved into nothing more than a country club that demanded bigger tithes. Seriously, the last preacher we had spent a fortune building a giant “family life center” that is pretty much empty most of the time because he drove out nearly every single person who so much as questioned the wisdom of his brilliance. The most activity I’ve ever seen there is when it hosts a blood drive.

      • Ugh the tithe thing,

        Back when I was a church goer I remember every sunday the pastor made a big show of wheeling out a wheelbarrow to the pulpit and refused to start the sermon until every person got up out of their seat and put enough money in the wheelbarrow until it was full.

        • Bianca Castle

          would have carried $20 in the smallest change possible just for that.

          one of the churches i was dragged along to used to have a sermon on the importance of tithing before the actual sermon. every session, without fail. meanwhile, they were spending thousands on (mostly unnecessary) building upgrades every single year while people in the local area were wondering how they’d keep the lights on. they were the people who blatantly showed me the hypocrisy of parts of xtianity.

        • Kelly Culp

          WOW. I’m so thankful to have never encountered this kind of thing. I used to attend a church where tithes were how the preacher was paid (up to a cap), so basically the only time tithes were preached on was when a preacher was leaving a congregation, for the benefit of the incoming preacher. I never heard it spoken of in any other context. Offerings for benevolence work? Necessary building repairs? Sure, someone would make an announcement, but that was about it.

          At my current church, money is rarely addressed, because although it’s a fairly diverse church, we have a disproportionate number of members with high income, who love to give back and serve with both their money and time. The last time there was a drive for money, roughly a month was spent detailing how the money would be spent, including paying off the building debt early, so that the money saved would essentially make the project support itself in the long run, and no further “extra” offerings would be necessary.

          I have been very fortunate, but then again, I could never bring myself to stay at a greedy church if I found myself in one.

          • justinagirle

            This sounds a lot like my church. My pastor does mention tithes from time to time but doesn’t beat anyone over the head with it. Our church is pretty good at giving regularly and the only time we “raised money” was when we needed to expand and the option to buy the building next door arose (we are a part of a row of store front buildings) or to help buy equipment (speakers, projectors and such) for overseas churches in our fellowship.. We have a meeting yearly where he goes over in detail where all the money has gone.

        • Worldwalker

          So how many people showed up with bags of pennies?

        • Oldmanmike

          We have a small box at the back of the church for offerings. It rarely gets mentioned. Pastor lives modestly and spends most of his money left after basic needs helping others. I can’t stand to see preachers driving cadalacs and living in mansions.

          • SylviasDaddy

            We have no paid ministry.

      • Vicemage

        I’m a Christian myself, and also not fond of those “Christians.” (I’m not sure if they count as “Cafeteria Christians,” or if they’re something else in their own right.) Unfortunately, my last actual roommates were a pair of those, and when they invited me to their church a couple of times I found out just how cultish it really was. Ever since, even being near one of those “megachurches” is kind of creepy. (Sadly, my polling place is in one.)

        • Snugglesgodofdeath

          Sorry you had to have those roommates and that polling place. I just think “forgive them, they know not what they do” since typically people like this are just blindly following the directions of the preacher. (By the way, is your avatar Edward Elric or am I mistaken? Kinda ironic given the discussion).

          • Vicemage

            That’s largely how I look at them; I was raised that caring about and respecting others was more important than putting your butt in a pew–or in other words, live it instead of showing it. So even though I’m not a member of any church right now, I still do what I can to help others and make the world a better place. (Better than the traffic jams the mega church makes every week.)

            (And yes, my avatar is Ed!)

        • Harvey Skaggs

          None of it’s true, unfortunately. It’s just a nice story written thousands of years ago to help people be less scared of death. You can do without it.

          • Vicemage

            Do you only try to force your beliefs on Christians, or do you do this to other religious groups as well?

      • Novelista

        When I still went to church, we had a priest who decided we needed a giant FLC and put on a massive, years-long building campaign.

        They now rent it out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that needs a space, but those fees line the church’s pockets–they don’t go back into the pockets of the parishioners who gave and gave and gave in the first place.

    • Jeffery Bucove

      there’s also a lot of religious variants out there (in an anything goes tax haven defined legal context for religions, such as the USA) which teach things peculiarly aimed toward corruption of the soul

      • Jeffery Bucove

        I, personally, believe that this was a ForeFather’s poison pill against religions designed to appear to be a concession to con artist styled religious leaders… a trend during those years and which was clearly going to end badly in a fruiting age such as we enjoy today

    • Screen Man

      I’m a Christian who works in a Christian bookstore, and Christian bookstore workers like me get that every day we work. Christian customers are the absolute worst, and the worst of the worst? Pastors. I’ve had so many pastors treat me like dirt while ringing up their purchases. It’s annoying! I’m sitting there thinking “and you claim you’re a Christian, how?” and trying to be so respectful. So, I feel your pain.

    • Darth Hideous

      I’ve been to a few geeky cons coinciding with religious cons and have never had a problem (got some funny looks from some old Baptist ladies but they turned out to be quite pleasant when they asked me why I was dressed so strangely). Street preachers are another matter. I’ve got some stories there. I stunned one into silence, ran one off from his perch (not through any sort of intimidation mind you), and got one to admit he needed to reconsider his approach. It seems these guys don’t know how to handle a Bible-believing Sith.

  • Deadpool
    • godzillahomer

      ‘It’s not god I have a problem with, it’s his fanclub.’

      • Cerys Robinson

        God’s a sound bloke, but his PR sucks.

        • godzillahomer

          he also needs better finance people, the church is always asking for money

      • If anything I call myself a Lovecraftian leaning agnostic

        Does god exist? Maybe, maybe not, couldnt say or sure one way or another 100% but the way I see it, if it did, logically speaking, it would be much more like azazoth than it would a white bearded guy

    • Michael Bugg

      “How dare religious people mess with me! It’s MY job to mess with THEM!”

      • Matt Westwood

        Well, they are a bit philosophically ridiculous.

    • Christine Wood

      I’d bet Jesus would play along if you asked him to.

    • Screen Man

      As a Christian who works in a Christian bookstore, I can totally (and sadly) agree with what you’re saying. Everyday I get terrible customers who claim to be Christians and everyday I come back home with loads of stories that I start with “this is why Christians are so hated!” But, I at least get to try and have some fun with the terrible customers since they are making my day miserable, I mean, you have to retain your sanity somehow.

  • Lynn Deese

    I make sure to eat and drink most of the time before going to an event if I am limited on funds, so concession prices isn’t a problem for me. I agree with the issue with a lot of religious gatherings, whether in a venue like this or in a restaurant after church. It blows my mind to deal with people who claim to follow Jesus but treat everyone else like crap. An especially wonderful thing for a server to receive is the religious tracts being left half under the plate instead of a tip, and bonus points if it has half of a fake bill printed on the part hanging out. Unfortunately, that type tends to treat servers poorly and act like they are somehow holier for having just arrived from church. They forget their actions show their true character.

    • Vira Vandom

      You only remember the positives.

      In truth it was a creature who: told people to abandon their families (if they aren’t xian), cut their hands off, rip out their eyeballs, treats humans like dirt, lies and claims not to, and “brings not peace, but a sword”.

      Expecting people to act kindly, when that creature is the supposed “savior” of their religion, is absurd.

      • Michael Bugg

        I see that someone has never spent any time with a Jew and discovered the wonderful world of hyperbole. You’ll notice that Jesus’ actual followers aren’t into self-mutilation. Of course, truth doesn’t matter to you one bit–excuses to be bitter and slander 1.5 billion people are far more important, in your estimation.

    • Jenni Sowvlen

      I worked as a server for 3 years. There’s almost nothing more demeaning than a customer who first treats you like the dirt on the bottom of their shoes, and then leaves a Tract in lieu of a tip.

      Jesus loves me? Well, if this Jesus is anything like you, then I don’t wish to know Him.

  • Ty Vulpine

    Because you know, complaining about everything is something Christ would have approved of.

    • Kitty

      I like how The Simpsons depicted Jesus once when Homer went to heaven. God said, “I don’t know what you guys did to him, but ever since I sent my son to you and he came back, he’s been like this” and you see Jesus sitting in a swing, looking all forlorn.

    • Donnell Hanog

      God once forced people to eat lethal amounts of meat because they complained about getting free food daily since it wasn’t meat. Bet He would *love* His ‘follower’ getting a service that was above and beyond what was offered and complaining and acting a fool in the process.

      • Michael Bugg

        No, God simply provided quail until they were sick of that too (Num. 11:20). We don’t know the nature of the plague in verse 33–the narrative doesn’t tell us much about it, other than that it happened in the initial wave of the quail being delivered, and that it killed a number. There’s no indication that force-feeding was involved. If I had to hazard a guess, given the greed of the people, they didn’t wait for the quail to cook properly and this caused an outbreak of something akin to ebola or salmonella.

        Of course, actually reading with comprehension wouldn’t further your theophobic agenda.

        • Donnell Hanog

          First off, it’s not theophobic. I was making a point that people who follow Christ should not be acting like this (complaining about someone doing their best to serve is un-Christlike), not ridiculing the Bible or the faith. Second, my pastor explained it differently, and the explanation made sense. God DID order that His people eat all that was provided, and did provide more than could be reasonably be eaten at once. Perhaps it’s differences in the version of the Bible, perhaps the pastor misremembered (I didn’t have a Bible on hand to check and still keep forgetting to get one. I was homeless at the time.), perhaps I’m remembering wrong (it was, after all, a few years ago.).

          Third, lose the condescending tone. Try asking what point I’m trying to make rather than just assuming I’m attacking you, and don’t lecture someone about reading comprehension if you’ve completely missed their point (the point being that, either way, it was a punishment for complaining about something that there really wasn’t any reason to complain about.).

          • Michael Bugg

            Since condescension is apparently the theophobic language of choice, I’ve learned to speak it fluently. I find the new atheists/theophobes to be particularly pretentious in that they claim to know the Bible better than the Jews and Christians that they criticize, and yet 90% of their attacks are obliterated by simply reading a few more verses before or after the target verse. The remaining 10% is usually cleared up by just a basic knowledge of what was going on in the world at the time the Bible was written or five minutes with a lexicon.

            On the other hand, I’ve had many respectful discourses with atheists, agnostics, neo-pagans, Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, and traditional (non-Messianic) Jews who understand that respect is a two-way street.

            Now, having said all that, please show me where you believe that God “ordered” Israel to eat every single quail, citing chapter and verse.

          • Donnell Hanog

            Citing chapter and verse would be bloody near impossible, considering I do not have a Bible on-hand and don’t remember where it was to even begin to look the story up (like I said, this was a few years ago). Logically speaking, though, it doesn’t make sense for God to provide and then be okay with it going to waste. As I’m saying for the second time, I’m working from memory, and from having the story explained to me, so it’s possible I’m misremembering, or the pastor who explained it to have misunderstood, or for the Bible he was teaching it from to have been misprinted or have been one with interpretations written in that were erroneous.

            The point that the story was a warning against complaining about good service still stands, as does the fact that such complaining is not something a good Christian does.

            As to learning to speak condescension fluently, is it truly a Christian value to open with disrespect in a discussion, especially over what may be a simple mistake and not an outright attack? I was taught that we are to demonstrate the love of Christ, rather than simply proselytizing in His name, and to treat others as we would treat ourselves (Love thy neighbour as thyself.).

          • NessaTameamea

            When being asked by people, even close friends, why you don’t believe in God, while being told in other conversations with the same people that they hate being asked why they believe in God, it’s hard to still maintain an unbiased view of the topic at hand and I think we all, no matter the opinion, fall into defense mode way too easily when there’s other ways to get your point across.

            I don’t think it is necessarily out of theophobia. At least in my case it’s out of bad experiences where I as an agnostic was made to feel like I’m guilty of something because I don’t believe. This has nothing to do with religion. This has something to do with people.

            I’m not saying that what I do is right and I’m not saying other people are entirely to blame for my behaviour and choice of words. All I’m saying that I can be a jerk sometimes without realising and a little heads up is absolutely appreciated, and maybe other people feel that way too.

  • Matt Westwood

    Customer: “I want my money back!”

    OP: “No, f*** off back to [email protected]@n, you di$gusting old demon, he’s wondering where the f*** you’ve got to.”

    • godzillahomer

      Nah, Satan is wondering where she got to and how much it’ll take to keep her away for good (likely $20)

  • Jenni Sowvlen

    There are people who love to be “seen” as religious, meaning they love to be seen at church services, conferences, and other religious events. They are religious in name only, and they are a poor representation for what Christ stood for.

    • Mike Agney

      Not only that, but the sort of thing Christ preached against. Matthew 23:27:

      Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.

    • Max

      I hope St Peter has a little trapdoor in front of the Gates of Heaven,
      so when these people come up and expect to get in, he can just pull the
      lever and watch them plummet into H3ll like something out of Loony
      Tunes.

      • Vira Vandom

        The physical “heaven” doesnt exist, it’s merely allegory; the physical version of the latter exists, but it’s not a place of torture/punishment.

        So… no Looney Tunes trapdoor antics.

        • Clay

          Well thank heavens you cleared that up.

        • heymoe2001

          None of it exists.

        • George Gidley

          I’d love to see your evidence on this claim.

          • Matt Westwood

            I’d be interested to see (worldly) evidence that *your* version of the afterlife is as *you* believe it.

          • George Gidley

            I don’t believe in any afterlife, nor anything for which substantial, peer-reviewed evidence does not exist. I’m an atheist.

        • Flami

          Gee, I’m so glad we have an expert here to clear the afterlife up for us.

        • Raizumichin

          You must be a blast at parties.

    • Patrick Mccurry

      Aaaaand here it is. I’ve looked for years to see if I can read a single thread involving religion where no one throws up the No True Scotsman fallacy. Hasn’t happened yet.

      • Samantha Meza

        Kind of hard not to in the case of Christians, where it even states in the bible about non-genuine followers
        “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ Matthew 7:21-23
        ““And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. Matthew 6:5

      • Michael Bugg

        That doesn’t follow: Scotsmen are Scotsmen simply by virtue of their birth, and so of course run the gamut in terms of attitudes and actions. However, Christians are supposed to have put their faith in Jesus and therefore follow his teachings–and to repent and do their best to make it right when they fail. If you’re not following the basic teachings of a religion, then the other members are not committing a NTS fallacy by pointing it out. It’s more like saying, “No true pro-choice advocate would force a woman to keep a child conceived by rape.”

        As Jesus himself said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'” (Mat. 7:21-23)

        I’m pretty sure that the founder of the religions gets to define who, based on their actions, is truly part of it and who isn’t.

        • Dixie Landings

          There comes a point where it comes off like, “Oh, yeah, I’m a Christian but I don’t believe Christ was our Savior, I don’t follow his teachings, and I don’t believe in a God of any kind.”

          “Uh, then you aren’t really a Christian, are you?”

          “That’s a No True Scotsman fallacy.”

          • Michael Bugg

            My grandfather was a bit like that. He was a Christian because he wasn’t a Jew, so what else would a red-blooded American be in the 1940s? He went to church most weeks, got a nice dose of moral teachings and was a good man and highly regarded, but never much more than that until the very end of his life.

            One of the things that I think is ultimately good about the current tide of Christophobia is that it’s weeding out those who aren’t really committed to Christ. In the end, I think the Church in America will be a bit smaller, but a lot more devoted and loving.

          • heymoe2001

            WTF is the Church in America?

          • Michael Bugg

            “Church” in the capital “C” sense of the whole “body of Christ,” not limited to any particular denomination. “In America,” meaning simply Christians in the USA. Sorry, didn’t mean to confuse.

        • mashava

          You don’t understand what “No True Scotsman” fallacy means, do you? Or else you wouldn’t be talking about “Scotsman are Scotsman”

          • Michael Bugg

            I do. Please answer my example: Is the statement, “No true pro-choice advocate would force a woman to keep a child conceived by rape,” an example of a NTS fallacy, nor not?

        • Patrick Mccurry

          Your post has so many subjective opinions that it would take me far too much time to refute. I honestly don’t care enough to correct you.

  • Kitty

    *grabs the ‘horrible’ coffee and splashes it on her shoes* Problem solved; go away.

  • Blaine Wheeler

    Back when I was in high school, my girlfriend at the time worked for a fast food restaurant. Things there got so bad the managers had to make one Sunday a month mandatory for employees because everyone kept requesting off because no one wanted to deal with the church crowds.

    • Matt Westwood

      They could always close it, and so the after church crowd could cook their own [email protected] food like *proper* Christians.

  • MercyMay

    I used to work at a very popular restaurant (popular by virtue of it be one of the only sit down places). We would get the after church crowds in and no one wanted to work Sunday. That was the day you’d get yelled the most and get the least tips.

    It was the same at the zoo: church groups meant trouble. One demanded a refund for the whole group (40 people) because we wouldn’t let them ride the elephants.

    • Vance

      I worked in a restaurant where the main waitress NEVER worked Sundays because she knew, and she didn’t want to deal with those people.

    • Holly

      Those are the same people that come and avail themselves of goods and services on Sunday and then rant that you are working on the holy day. Hey, isn’t it why you are *not* eating your after-church lunch at Chick-fil-A or shopping for craft supplies at Hobby Lobby?

      • Susan Santos

        Interestingly enough, Sunday isn’t the holy day of rest. Saturday is. Even preachers could not work on the day of rest.

        • Holly

          Eh. Most preachers consider Sunday sermons and services not work, but service to God.

          I would love to see a restaurant policy, though, that would state than any Sunday customer who states or insinuates that the staff working on a Sunday are sinners will automatically get a 15% gratuity added to their bill.

          I know it won’t happen because it’s discriminatory, but, oh, wouldn’t it be sweet.

          • sakasiru

            They could just throw them out, I guess.

          • Matt Westwood

            Bit late when they’ve already eaten their meal and stiffed the server.

          • sakasiru

            You’d know them after a few times. Or they just generally close on Sundays.

          • Matt Westwood

            Make it 25%, with the extra 10% being extracted as a tithe, and donated to the poor in the community.

      • Susan Santos

        Don’t say that to them though, they hate having their ignorance pointed out

      • Matt Westwood

        The traditional Sunday meal is cooked at home and eaten with your family, and the entire family then participates in the washing-up. People who eat out on Sunday (and in fact compel *any* other person to do unnecessary work) are not Christians, whatever they think to call themselves.

        • Holly

          Okay, I may disagree with you on the eating-out aspect, but I do agree that if one is “righteous” enough to preach to others how they are sinners an’ all by working on a holy day should look in the mirror and follow his/her own preaching – go home after church and eat there.

    • TSBJ

      “You can’t ride the elephants, but I will let you feed the tigers.”

      • Shadow-Bloodedge

        I can’t like this comment enough, XD

      • Michael Bugg

        Lions. It’s more Biblically ironic. (Think Daniel.)

    • SS

      The restaurant owner needs to post a notice on the door on Sundays with several bible quotes on it about loving one another and treating others well. Including the one that specifies that “Render unto Caeser that which is Caeser’s” means it is Christian to tip your waitstaff.

      • SS

        Oh … I thought of another one that needs to be posted… “Thou shalt not steal” means not demanding food and service and then attempting to find an excuse not to pay for them.

      • Screen Man

        As a Christian myself, I get so ticked off when I see fellow Christians not tipping, it’s so infuriating. Seriously, I think God is more ticked off with you treating the waiters like dirt and being a poor testimony than you giving the waiter a higher percent than you give the church on Sunday.

  • Samantha Phastine

    Makes me wish that we could institute an industry-wide rule that servers don’t show up on Sunday or for ‘Church’ groups. Like, when they fill out the form saying what they’re renting your venue for, if they note ‘Church’ or something like that, inform them that it’s self-serve, only.

    If only…

    • Matt Westwood

      If it’s an open restaurant where anyone can just turn up for lunch, that sort of approach is impractical.

  • Vance

    These are the same people that sit in a restaurant after church, complain about everything, and then don’t tip, or leave those religious pamphlets that look like a $20.

    • Susan Santos

      I’m not religious, but I hold on to hope that those people will burn the hottest of them all…

      • Vira Vandom

        Might want to ditch that mindset; the whole “trapped in Hel” thing is allegory, not literal.

        • Clay

          You want her to ditch the mindset of not being religious? What kind of monster are you?

    • sakasiru

      When I was a kid, I was read a story where when you get to heaven, there will be a buffet of everything you can think of. But you need to pay for it, and the money you have available is the sum you have gifted to others in life.
      I like to picture there people with their fake pamphlet-twenties standing in front of this buffet now.

      • TheWonderRabbit

        But if the afterlife is eternal, but the total amount anyone can give in life is finite…

        • sakasiru

          I guess you don’t have to eat there. It’s just a nice treat. That sort of get together those people like to be seen at …

  • Susan Santos

    Whenever I worked an opening shift in the clothing department I used to always time my lunch at 11:30 regardless of what time I left that day because that was roughly when the church crowd showed up. If I was there to see those locusts descend on the folded tables, being condemned would be the least of my problems…

  • Cathrope

    Being in church makes you a good person as standing in a garage makes you a car. (Trying to remember the quote from memory.)

    • Michael Bugg

      The actual quote is, “Going to church no more makes you a Christian than going to a garage makes you a car.”

      • Cathrope

        Thank you. I like that quote.

      • Ophelia

        Ah, so THAT’S how that sentence goes. (Then again, carrying people on your back and scurrying down asphalt roads still won’t make you a car.)

  • Vira Vandom

    I’m not surprised; most of them are numb to their very own soul, so it’s only logical that it results in a lack of empathy/sympathy.

  • NatesMama1128

    It just wouldn’t be NAW day without some good old fashioned Christian-bashing going on. Whoo hoo!

    • Michael Bugg

      Seriously. There wasn’t even a reason to mention that this was a religious event at all since the story involved exactly one old bat whose only problem, from the narrative’s perspective, was a level of elderly entitlement and bitterness that transcends faith or creed.

      But naturally, the Christophobics in the audience are going to have a field day, since the intro to the story reinforces the bigotry of their choice.

      • Jenni Sowvlen

        Exactly! And I would almost guarantee that OP had many customers at this event who were polite, AND that they’ve had rude customers at non religious events.

        But, obviously, OP has an agenda to push

        • Aro

          Yeah, but given Jesus’s teachings you expect Christians to be polite. And bad behavior is even more egregious when you see it coming from someone who quotes John 3:16.

      • Aro

        The reason they mentioned it was a religious event is the same reason one might point that the guy who cut you off was a traffic cop, or the lady who thinks the sun isn’t a star is a science teacher.
        As Christians, it’s our job to be patient, compassionate and generous to the people around us. So people will point out professing Christians who act like this lady.

      • TJ

        It’s going to be such a better world once all you freaks are in heaven.

      • NatesMama1128

        Exactly. Thanks for that.

    • mashava

      And here we have one who has never worked in the service industry on a Sunday.

      Christian customers are among some of the most hateful, rude, condescending people I ever dealt with.

      • Jenni Sowvlen

        I worked as a server for 3 years, and almost every single Sunday. I would say that the rudest customers are those who made sure you knew that they had just come from church, and therefore were better than you because you hadn’t.

      • NatesMama1128

        I’ve worked decades in the service industry. The worst people? Self-involved twenty-somethings and old people. Never once asked them their religious beliefs and didn’t care.

  • Difdi

    The first thing through my head, reading this, was to wonder whether the woman knew her $5 was counterfeit and was trying to pass it in exchange for a real one.

  • Sara van der Merwe

    Somehow, I’m not surprised. In fact, I expected it.

  • Cat Amanigh

    When I was a waitress, the worst tables I ever had were from the Methodist church for after mass brunch. Never tipped, always awful to everyone, and never cared to keep their kids in check.

    • Jeffery Bucove

      gang mentality. it’s easy to tell the monkeys from the people

      • Cat Amanigh

        I’m not entirely convinced of that, because on the rare occasions that the Methodists came in during the week, they were still stingy jerks.

        • Jeffery Bucove

          the gang mentality of any tight group of monkeys does not depend upon the gathering, it is inherent in their moment to moment psych as a confidence booster and streamlining of social responsibility to only focus on their own internal hierarchy

          it’s only when they are together in a group that this cluster-f**k of dysfunction becomes climactic

  • Paprika Girl

    They’re obviously going to the religious convention because they have yet a lot to learn.

  • Fenn

    These are probably the same people sitting in the front row crying Amen to every other word. Sitting in a Church doesn’t make you a Christian no more than standing in a garage makes you a car. You need to practice these values outside of your places of worship.

  • TheBigBadWolf

    Way to enable her, OP. No wonder she came back after getting her change.

  • Denton Young

    Some restaurants in my area have a policy that all customers on Sunday are automatically assessed a 20% gratuity. The reason is because all the church people would either leave nothing or those fake bills that are actually religious tracts.

  • The Vicar

    I would be willing to bet that if tax exemptions for religion were revoked, 99% of American religion would vanish overnight.

    • Denton Young

      That’s way too low an estimate. At least 99.9999% would vanish.

  • Aro

    whenever my youth group went somewhere, especially if we were wearing church t-shirts, the pastor constantly reminded us that we were representing God and the Church, so be on our best behavior. It’s a shame so many people forget that.

  • Ilya

    Are you sure he wasn’t trying to short-change you?

  • Marina Dribnenki

    My work had a “money is money” policy. You can ask for change in different denominations, but you can’t nit-pick the specific coin or bill because “that one looks nicer”.

  • Jenna

    I’m actually wondering if she was scamming you. Did you check those smaller denominations she gave you back?

    Personally, I’d put a sign up saying the store will not make change, and then instruct staff to refer to policy and refuse, with the threat of banning if they start getting verbally abusive. After all, she’s not given you business – she’s actually cost you money