Lack Of Stock Options

(I am a cashier at a well-known craft store, and am currently cashing out a customer when another customer pushes his way in front of her and demands my assistance.)

Customer: “Hey, you! Cashier! Where do you keep the [item I’ve never heard of]!?”

Me: “What is that? Can you describe it?”

Customer: “You use it to cut Styrofoam. It’s got a thin wire that heats up to melt through it so that it doesn’t, y’know, break up into small bits or whatever.”

Me: *having heard a request for an identical item on my radio* “Wait, didn’t you just ask three other people about that, including the store manager and the assistant manager?”

Customer: “Yeah. They said that if you carried it that it would be over in aisle three!”

Me: “So… did you check aisle three?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “And was it there?”

Customer: “Obviously not, you dumb s***!”

Me: *wanting to get back to cashing out the customer I was helping before* “Sir, you already spoke to three other employees, including the store manager. They all said that if we had that item that it would be in aisle three.”

Customer: “And it wasn’t! Now are you going to help me or am I going to have to take my business elsewhere?!”

Me: “Well since you’re looking for an item that we apparently don’t sell, you’re going to have to take your business elsewhere no matter what I do.”

Customer: “I… Well… S***!” *stomps off angrily*

(I should have been written up for that, but my store manager decided not to because not only was it hilarious but it was also pretty certain that we’d not have gotten his business no matter what I did.)