They Are But Learners Among Masters

(I’m in a Creative Writing class. Star Wars Episode VII has just been announced, and there’s two boys in my class who are huge Star Wars fans. I’m also a fan, but I haven’t made that known. Class is just beginning.)

Teacher: “Random fact for today: Star Wars Episode VII will be made. We have that to look forwards to in 2015.”

Boy #1: “Yeah, right.”

Boy #2: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Boy #1: “It’ll just be a repeat of the prequels. A bunch of sucky movies, one after the other.”

Me: *muttering* “I have a very bad feeling about this…”

Boy #2: “The prequels don’t suck!”

Boy #1: “They do, and I’ll give you plenty of reasons why: Jar Jar Binks, midichlorians, taxation plots, whiny Anakin—”

Boy #2: “The midichlorian bit didn’t suck!”

(This argument goes back and forth for some time, and they eventually stand up as it gets more heated. The rest of the class looks annoyed, as does the teacher, but efforts to break up the fight are fruitless.)

Teacher: “Boys, this isn’t a forum thread.”

(I finally have enough.)

Me: *to teacher* “You gotta speak their language. Watch.” *stands and turns to boys* “Mindless philosophers! I find your lack of faith in this new film disturbing. You two better watch your mouths, or you’ll find yourselves floating home!”

(The two boys just stare at me silenced.)

Boy #1: “You’re a girl! How do you—”

Me: “Somebody has to save the fandom! Back into your seats, flyboys!”

(They grudgingly sit down, as do I.)

Me: “Boring conversation anyway.” *to teacher* “You’re all clear, [teacher’s name]! Now let’s blow this lesson and go home!”

(The entire class bursts out laughing. The two boys never disrupt the class with their Star Wars arguments again.)