Knows Where You Can Shove That Mozzarella Stick

(I’ve just started working in the kitchen of a bingo hall as a food runner, and one of the chefs is eating a mozzarella stick, as it’s quiet. Just as she’s finishing her last mouthful, a senior member of staff comes in.)

Manager: “I hope you paid for that.”

Chef #1: *whilst eating* “Paid for what?”

(The manager turns to the other chef, looking for affirmation.)

Manager: “[Chef #2]?”

Chef #2: “She told me not to say anything.”

(The manager turns to me.)

Manager: “[My Name], remember you’re on probation and I can fire you.”

Me: “I saw nothing. Unless I need it for blackmail.”

Manager: “Okay.”

(He then grabbed a slice of bacon out of the warming tray and started eating it as he left.)