Knows The Right Stuff(ing)

| England, UK | Learning | July 2, 2015

(We’re currently studying ‘The Landlady’ in English class. It’s heavily implied in the story that she has killed and stuffed her previous tenants and she’s just poisoned the narrator, who’s her latest tenant. I read a lot so I know a lot of random trivia that my class doesn’t.)

Teacher: “Right, so does anyone know what happens at the end of the story?”

Me: “She’s just poisoned the narrator by spiking his tea.”

Teacher: “Very good! How did you know that?!”

Me: “Well, he says his tea has a faint taste of almonds, and that’s an indicator of cyanide.”

(Everyone looks round at me, wondering how I knew that.)

Me: *accidentally sounding suspicious* “…Uh, I read it somewhere. I think.”

(Later:)

Teacher: “Right, now we know she likes to taxidermy her pets, so what’s going to happen to the narrator?”

(I put my hand up again, and she tries some other students before asking me.)

Me: “She stuffs him, right? Taxidermy is stuffing things, so that’s how she keeps her victims.”

Teacher: “Okay, it seems [My Name] has a worrying knowledge of these things, so, everyone, don’t trust her okay? She’s the landlady!”

(Everyone laughed, and I was known as the landlady for quite a while in that class.)

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