Knows Some Killer Disney Songs

(My coworker and I are on co-op at an accounting firm and we share an office. He’s a great guy and no complaints about his work at all… but he just says odd things to himself when he’s working.)

Coworker: *singing* “Do you wanna bury bodies? It doesn’t have to be just ooooonne. I really don’t wanna see him anymore. Let’s throw him out the dooooooor!”

(Another time:)

Coworker: *ranting about Excel* “Who’s a good spreadsheet? Yes, you are! Yes, you are. Ye- NO. NO! BAD SPREADSHEET! NO FREEZING ON ME! NO FREEZING! BAD SPREADSHEET! I AM GOING TO DELETE YOU NOW. BAD. NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!”

(Another time:)

Coworker: *singing again* “Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase. Hakuna matata, let’s bury some bodies. Hakuna matata, let’s kill some more people!” *out of nowhere* “Did you know that if you grab the tip of someone’s ear and pull straight down, it comes right off?”

(Here’s the kicker:)

Coworker: “God d*** it, WHY WON’T YOU BALANCE?! I’LL KILL YOU!”

Boss: “[Coworker]! Stop threatening to kill your balance sheet or I’ll kill you!”