Knows How To Push Your (Belly) Buttons

(I work the seafood counter, but it is joined with the meat market. Sometimes the seafood staff have to watch to meat counter for a while. For a few weeks, we have this elderly man come in and try to play pranks on the employees.)

Coworker #1: *in meat department* “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Elderly Man: “Yes, I would like your best pork belly buttons.”

Coworker #1: “Umm… I will have to ask my boss. One moment.”

Coworker #2: “Sir, pork belly buttons don’t exist.”

Elderly Man: “Well, of course they do!”

Wife: “Leave them alone! I am sorry.”

(A few days later, I am working both counters.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Elderly Man: “I would like some pork belly buttons, young lady.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but your reputation precedes you. Pork belly buttons do not exist. Is there anything that I can actually get you?”

(He laughed at this.)

Wife: “Leave the girl alone!”

Me: “Oh, no worries, ma’am; I already know who he is. Is there anything I can get for you guys today?”

Elderly Man: “I like you!”

(After that he stopped asking, but if I was working, he would smile at me when they passed by.)