Knows How To Make An Entrance

, , , , , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(I live in a “garden” apartment complex and my building has ten units. Two of the apartments, mine and one other, have private entrances to the outside, and the other eight are accessed through a common entrance where you have to buzz in. One night my wife and I have just put our newborn son to bed when there is a loud thump on the front door.)

Voice Outside: “WHAT THE H***? WHY IS THIS LOCKED?!”

(There’s more loud banging, almost like someone is trying to break the door in. I look out the window and there’s a pizza delivery guy apparently trying to shoulder down my door.)

Me: *through the door* “What are you doing?”

Delivery Guy: “Oh! I have your pizza.”

Me: “I didn’t order a pizza.”

Delivery Guy: “Is this [address]?”

Me: “Yes, but I didn’t order a pizza. What apartment is it for?”

Delivery Guy: “[Apartment Number upstairs] for [Neighbor].”

(I crack open the door to talk to him but keep the chain in place.)

Me: “You’ve got the wrong apartment; that’s upstairs.”

Delivery Guy: “But I need to get in! Let me in.”

Me: “The door is on the other side of the building. They’ll buzz you in.”

Delivery Guy: “Can’t I just come through this way?” *he leans his shoulder against the door again*

Me: “This is my apartment; I’m not letting you cut through my apartment to deliver somebody else a pizza.”

Delivery Guy: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not. Go to the other door.”

Delivery Guy: “Fine, you can explain to your neighbor that you won’t let me deliver their pizza.”

(He got back in his car and drove off, making no attempt to go to the main entrance. I talked to my upstairs neighbor later that week. Apparently the delivery guy told them that the doorman wouldn’t let them in. We don’t have a doorman.)

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