Knowing How Tickets Work Is The Ticket!

I work at the front entrance of a theme park. Today, I am stationed at the Will Call area, where people can pick up pre-purchased tickets. A woman comes up to me with her digital ticket on her phone. At the top, it basically says, “This is your ticket. Go directly into the park.” Occasionally, people actually read it.

Guest: “I have a question.”

Me: Yes?

Guest: “This is my ticket.”

I have heard countless people say these four words as a question. This woman is a native English speaker with an American accent. There is not the slightest bit of inflection in her voice to make it sound like she’s unsure. This is 100% a statement.

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Insert a few seconds of staring contest here.

Me: “I’m sorry, you said you had a question?”

Guest: “This is my ticket.”

Again, it is 100% a statement.

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Guest: *Still calm* “So, what do I do now?”

Me: *A little confused* “You… go in.”

Guest: *Instantly full of rage* “You know, you really need to get a better attitude and respect your elders!”

I open my mouth several times, but I genuinely have no words.

Guest: *Mimicking my voice* “’You go in!’ How on earth was I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “Because… you have your ticket, ma’am?”

Guest: “And just how was I supposed to know that?!“

Me: “You… said those exact words yourself, ma’am.”

Guest: “So? You still can’t expect me to know that!”

Me: “I… can’t expect you to know… what you yourself just said, ma’am?”

Guest: “No! I’ve never been here before! How am I supposed to know that if I’ve never been here before?!”

Me: “How are you supposed to know… the words you just spoke yourself?”

Guest: “Yes! Apparently, what I’ve heard is true; they do only hire idiots at these places!

I lost all powers of speech again at this point, but at least that meant she stormed off to harass someone else.