The Kind Of Person Who Puts The Shotgun Into “Shotgun Wedding”
(I’m finishing up with a very normal sales call when suddenly everything changes.)
Customer: “You have a nice voice. I can tell you’re a beautiful woman. How old are you?”
Me: “I’m 21. So, we have your set up date as [date]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Customer: “Are you married?”
Me: *lying* “Yes.”
Customer: “You should leave him and marry me. I can tell you’re a nice girl. I’ll be at your work tonight with flowers, waiting.”
Me: *standing up and flapping my arms at management across the room* “That’s very nice of you, but please, don’t. I’m going to transfer you to the confirmation line now.”
Customer: “You will be my bride!”
Me: “Have a great day.” *transfers*
Manager: *runs up* “What happened?”
Me: “I need an escort to my car in an hour.”
Manager: “Why?”
Me: “Remember that crazy person who said he would shoot up the building last month? This is worse.”
Manager: “A bomb?!”
Me: “Forced marriage.”
Manager: “S***. [Coworker]! Can you walk [My Name] to her car? You’re bigger than me!”
(And yes, Crazy Marriage Guy did show up an hour after I left. Security left the flowers at my cubicle. This is why I said it was worse. Angry people say they will kill people all the time, willy-nilly. Really crazy people try to marry you.)
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?