Killer Koalas From Krypton

(I am at a fast-food restaurant eating ice cream with my mother, brother, seven cousins and aunt after an award ceremony. I am 14, and am in a very silly mood, while my 12-year-old cousin is very tired.)

Me: “Hey, let me read your palm!”

Cousin: “Okay?”

Me: *tracing palm* “Hmm, I see you will have 29 children and 17 divorces.”

Cousin: “17?!”

Me: “No, wait. There’s one death here. Oh, and I see you’ll gain superpowers. However, you will die at age 23 from a koala attack.”

Cousin: “A koala attack?! I have superpowers, but I’m killed by koalas?!”

Me: “Yes. Koalas are the only things that can kill you. They are your kryptonite. You see, they both start with K.”

Cousin: *disbelieving* “Uh-huh.”

Me: “God, you’re turning into such a teenager!”

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