Kill A Scam With A Scandal

, , | Legal | September 28, 2019

(I lived in Washington, DC for several years, but don’t live there anymore. Knowing some things about the city gives me great tools when those scammers call.)

Scammer: “Hello, is this [Not Close To My Name]?”

Me: “May I ask who is calling, please?”

Scammer: *heavy foreign accent* “Ma’am, we have an urgent matter. This is the IRS. You owe us $10,000 which must be paid immediately–”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, the IRS? My brother-in-law works there! Are you on [Street]? On the 32nd floor? How’s the new [non-existent] metro station coming along? Do you know Bob? He’s my brother-in-law!”

Scammer: *confused* “Ma’am… this is an… “ *papers shuffling* “…urgent matter.”

Me: “My sister is going to divorce Bob because she saw those photos of him; it’s such a scandal. The kids don’t know the truth, of course, and Bob will lose the Ferrari and the penthouse. Heroin addiction is such a terrible thing–”

Scammer: *click*

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