Keeping Your Cool With This Refrigerator Monster

I am the manager on duty. An angry man approaches me.

Customer: “I want a refund on a refrigerator that you sold my wife without getting my permission first!”

The only problem? The place is having a “going out of business sale”. We have signs on each door, register, and aisle, and posted every four to five feet in each aisle denoting that fact. Every sign states, “All sales final.”

Me: “I can’t do that. All sales are final.”

He begins yelling and cursing me out. Everyone else stops and begins paying attention to the scene he’s creating.

Me: “Sir, I am warning you once to stop this behavior or you’ll be tossed from the store.”

He loudly ignores that warning, so I do, in fact, throw him out, all five feet and seven inches of me herding his over-six-foot frame out the door.

Me: “In America, I don’t need your permission to sell your wife an appliance for her kitchen when she has the checkbook.”

Everyone in the building watched little me — normally the friendly, happy, smiling one — get the man out the door without resorting to any physical contact, mouths agape in shock.

The best part is that the refrigerator was bought as a “customer pickup”, not delivery. So, if he wanted his refrigerator, he now had to hire someone, at his expense, to come and get it for him.