Keeping Company With A Bad Company

My uncle runs his one-man company from a rented office. He says he does it for the fast Internet, but I think he likes the company of others.

Unfortunately, lately, another company has been taking over all the vacant offices. As soon as one becomes empty, they cram more employees in them.

While not one to complain, it’s clearly bothering my uncle; they seem to be taking over the building. He can’t get access to the kitchen or other facilities as they are constantly using everything. He is just biding his time until his contract is over.

I’m visiting to set up a printer — my uncle can’t ever use the shared one — and someone knocks at the door, entering straight away.

Woman: “I don’t seem to have your money for the tea fund.”

Uncle: *Sighs* “I’ve told you lot before, I don’t work for you. I’m not putting any money into anything.”

Woman: “But [Guy] said that [Renting Company] won’t provide tea and coffee anymore, so we need to fund it ourselves.”

Uncle: “Just great. You lot have ruined something else. Well, I’ll sort myself out. [Guy] can go whistle.”

She scribbles something down and goes to leave.

Woman: “Oh, is that a scanner? The one in the hall isn’t working. I might need to borrow it later.”

I’ve had enough.

Me: “No. No, you won’t. In fact, you can get out. [Uncle] is too nice to tell you this, but I’m not, so f*** off!”

Woman: “[Guy] will hear about this!”

I apologise to my uncle. He isn’t too hard on me and accepts he has been too patient with them.

I go to the car to find something to lock the printer away — I don’t trust them not to steal it — and on my way back see the woman with a guy. She points me out to him.

Me: “Yeah? What?”

Guy: “I don’t appreciate your attitude with my employees. At [Other Company], we have a strict policy on—”

Me: “Oh, just shut up? Why can’t you lot get it into your thick heads? I don’t work for you. My uncle doesn’t work for you. We don’t have to do anything you say.”

He blusters for a while.

Guy: “I’ll be speaking to [Rental Company] about this!”

Me: “Good for you. Have fun.”

The rental company did come back to my uncle to complain about me, but then he let out all his complaints back at them — all the issues with the other company, the damage, the use of facilities as meeting rooms…

It turns out the company was renting enough for twenty-five employees but had nearly double that in the building. No wonder he couldn’t get anything done.

The rental company put its foot down, but it was only six months later that [Other Company] went bust; it seems that the office scandal wasn’t the only dishonest practice. They were made to pay out for some settlement and their CEO got jail time.

The offices are far friendlier again, and my uncle is happier.