Keep Your Mouth Shut And Your Legs Covered

(I am reading at a cafe, waiting for an event to start, when a friend sits down with me. We greet each other and start chatting. Not long after, a woman walks past wearing black leggings which were so stretched that I can see her underwear and skin colour through the fabric. I think to myself, “Leggings aren’t pants,” but out loud I just say:)

Me: “Urgh…”

Friend: “What’s up, [My Name]?”

(I’m just about to say what I thought, but then the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” comes to mind, so I bite my tongue to stop talking.)

Me: “Oh, nothing; I just bit my tongue.”

(A few minutes later we got up to head into the event, and I noticed that my friend was dressed in very tight, see-through black leggings just like the woman was. I’m glad I listened to the angel on my shoulder instead of the devil.)