Karma: Thy Name Is Lexus

| Right | July 11, 2017

(A man walks up to my counter with several expensive pairs of dress pants and shirts in one hand, and his phone plastered to his ear, talking a mile a minute.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir! Did you find everything you need?”

(The customer ignores me as he dumps his clothes on the counter.)

Customer: “Anyway so this guy is demanding [large amount] for the Lexus and I’m like, ‘yeah, no way,’ so I…”

(I start ringing him up as he continues to chatter.)

Me: “Okay, do you have your store card with you today?”

(The customer gives me a sour look and points to his phone, apparently upset I’m daring to interrupt his call.)

Customer: “So anyway, I told him he was either going to agree to [larger amount] or he was going to go back to his office empty handed and…”

Me: “Ooookay then.” *I finish ringing up his items* “Your total is [amount].”

(Now the customer just flat out ignores me.)

Customer: “And he said, ‘No, any 2016 Lexus model is worth [smaller amount] as a minimum, and I said ‘Yeah, not when I’m the one buying it, buddy!'”

Me: “Sir, your total is…”

(The man points to his phone again and silently tells me to be quiet.)

Me: “Sir, there’s a line forming behind you. I need you to please—”

Customer: “Hey, do you mind? I’m in the middle of a conversation here!” *goes back to his call* “So I told him, ‘You want me to drive off in this car today? You agree to accept $$$ and not one cent more!’”

(The line behind this guy starts getting restless.)

Me: “Sir, your total is [amount]. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

(The customer just turns away and keeps nattering.)

Customer: “So finally the guy stops being a d*** and accepts my price. Hard won privilege but for a new Lexus it was worth it.”

(I turn as something catches my eye outside the store.)

Me: “Sir, by any chance is that Lexus you’re talking about a [model]?”

Customer: “Huh? Yeah, it is.”

Me: “So it’s that one that’s now being ticketed outside?”

(The man follows my gaze, and is horrified to see a police officer is indeed standing by his car writing a ticket.)

Customer: “What the f***! I thought I still had time on the meter!” *turns to me* “How much for the clothes? And be quick about it!”

Me: “It’s [amount].”

(He pays, snatches the clothes up from the counter, and runs for the door.)

Customer In Line: “Wow, funny how karma always knows just the right moment to strike.”

Me: “It gets even better.” *the man reaches the door, and promptly gets stopped by our security guard as the alarms go off* “He didn’t give me a chance to remove the anti-theft tags.”

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