Karen Is Coming And She’s Bringing Friends

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2020

(One Sunday lunch, we are running with six servers on the floor, which is a bit sparse, but we are managing. At 11:30, a group makes a call-ahead for twenty people at noon. The manager pulls one of the food runners to take the party in the party room so that I won’t lose a chunk of the main floor. By the time all these folks are seated, it is actually a party of thirty. They do not call to update the number in advance. They just all keep showing up, so we keep expanding their tables. There are eighteen adults, twelve kids. Now, twenty people can easily be taken by one server. Thirty’s a stretch, but can be done if the guests are kind and patient. Spoiler alert: they weren’t.)

Soccer Mom: *suddenly and without warning approaches behind me at the hospitality desk* “Excuse me. You need to get us another server.”

Me: *as I am VERY obviously trying to check in three separate parties that have just walked in* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. If you’ll give me a moment to check these folks in, I’d be happy to fetch my manager.”

Soccer Mom: “One server’s just not cutting it.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’m very sorry. I’ll have the manager to you as soon as I am able.”

Soccer Mom: “We were here first! All these people should have to wait so that we can have another server.”

Me: “I’m so very sorry, ma’am, but until I can fetch the manager for you, I’m afraid I’m not powerful enough to fix it.”

(The soccer mom stands behind me and taps her foot loudly as I continue trying to help the folks that have walked in and witnessed her tantrum. Time passes. My manager and the thirty-top’s server are at the hospitality desk and struggling to split all the checks, as there have been MANY complications with the party. The soccer mom storms up to the hospitality desk.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re still working to sort everything out. I’m so sorry.”

Soccer Mom: “Y’know, you keep saying that, and it doesn’t fix anything! I don’t care if you’re sorry. We’ve been here for two hours. Our kids are playing hide-and-seek in the bathrooms because you can’t expect children to sit for two hours, and we have twelve of them. You have five minutes to fix this.”

(I am thinking 1. Go step on a copper d4. 2. Two hours for an unexpected party of THIRTY is not at all unreasonable. 3. As a matter of fact, I CAN expect children to sit still for two hours. I’ve seen it done. Did it myself often when I was young. 4. Turns out, YOU are the adults of the group, and YOU should actually make an effort to control the twelve children you decided to bring out. 5. You told us twenty people. The fact that you don’t seem to understand why bringing an unannounced extra ten shows me that you’ve never had to work a job like this. If you HAD ever worked customer service, perhaps you wouldn’t be such a rampaging bint. Five minutes later:)

Soccer Mom: *standing in the entrance to the kitchen, WELL past where guests should be, phone alarm and light blaring, BELLOWING at the managers across the kitchen* “IT’S BEEN FIVE MINUTES!”

(Y’know… I’m so happy that I’m me and not her. I only had to tolerate her for two hours. She has to BE her for her whole life… and that’s gotta just suck.)

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