Just Wait ‘Till He Meets The Dwarves In The Urinals

Man: “Hey! I put my card in the ATM machine over there and put in my numbers, but it won’t give me any money. Does that even make any sense?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, the ATM is owned by that bank. You’ll have to call them.”

Man: “Oh, you would say that!”

Me: “If you’d like, sir, I can try to give you cashback here at my register, but I cannot access your bank information.”

Man: “I mean, I go to my bank and I can get out money just fine, but here… it won’t even work. I mean, does that make any sense?”

Me: “Would you like me to call my manager for you, sir?”

Man: “Oh, you’d try to save your job, wouldn’t you!”

(And then it gets weird…)

Man: “Wait!” *points at ceiling* “There used to be windows there! You people boarded them up!”

Me: “WHAT?”

Man: “Yeah! YEAH! The guys on the computers! I bet you have them up there watching me and keeping me from getting my money!”

Me: *laughing* “Um, sir, there are no people living in our walls. Go to your bank, and have a nice day!”

Man: *grumbles and leaves, turning back to look at the ceiling every few steps*

(From that point on, my co-workers who witnessed this blame everything on the ‘people in the walls’.)