Just Turn Left At The Series Of Tubes

(I am sweeping the dining room floor when I am waved over by an elderly couple.)

Me: “Hi, anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, we are heading around the island tomorrow and want to know if this rain will have stopped by then.”

Me: “It will probably still be raining here. However, they only get about eight inches of rain a year on the other side of the island, so chances are it’ll be sunny.”

Customer: “Can you check the weather tomorrow for me?”

Me: “Um, I don’t have a newspaper or anything, but I could ask the manager to turn the radio on. They give the weather at the top of every hour.”

(Note that it is 9:57 PM.)

Customer: “That will take too long. How about internets?”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have Wi-Fi here, but [Coffee Shop] does.”

Customer: *irate* “No! Where are the Internets!?”

Me: “Like an internet cafe? The only one here is downtown, but it’s already closed.”

Customer: “No! The INTERNETS!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Fine!” *storms off with his wife in tow*