Just Trouble-Shoot Me

(I work in a tech support call center for a television and phone service. I get a call in around 6:50 pm.)

Caller: “I have a giant red cross in the middle of my screen.”

Me: “That means the set top box has lost its connection and probably just needs to be power-cycled.”

Caller: “I am legally blind and can only see my television because it is very large.”

(This means I can’t do any troubleshooting with her.)

Caller: “I also have congestive heart failure and need to put my feet up, and I only do that in front of the television.”

Me: “Since we are unable to do any troubleshooting, I will need to dispatch someone to help you. I can get someone out in the morning to help you get back up and running.”

(She starts screaming.)

Caller: “I KNOW THE TECH IS A LOCAL PERSON, SO DON’T YOU F****** TELL ME YOU CAN’T GET HIM OUT HERE RIGHT F****** NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but by 17:00, the technicians’ schedules are full, and they can’t take on any additional workload unless it’s life-threatening or a medical emergency.”

Caller: “It is a medical emergency because I have congestive heart failure and need to keep my legs up!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but not having television for a night is not life-threatening.”

Caller: “I HAVE HAD SOMEONE OUT HERE LATER THAN SEVEN, SO DON’T YOU EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU CAN’T!”

(I know I am just going in circles with her, and I don’t want her to have a heart attack out of television-related rage, so I get a manager on the line. He answers and I explain the situation to him.)

Manager: “Well, no, we can’t send someone out after hours just to unplug her TV and plug it back in.” *sigh* “Bring her on to my line… I’ll talk to her.”

(I transferred the call, but listened in. The manager introduced himself and she then responded like the sweetest old lady ever explaining how she was “crippled,” and how “TV is her only joy now that her children are all moved away.” When told about the next-day repair, she immediately began berating him and refusing the early morning dispatch. He was eventually able to convince her to accept the next-day dispatch after getting verbally assaulted by the old woman. Upon further research, it turns out the woman DID have a tech out later one time, but that was because she had no dial tone and needed it fixed in case she needed to call 911. Long story short, if one of your three televisions is not working, it is not an emergency, no matter how much you want to watch “The Simpsons.”)