Just Stole His Thunder

(I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

(I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

(Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

Man: “What’s this?”

Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

(I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*