Just Not Feline Adoption

(My mom has been keeping toys that my siblings and I have had over the years in boxes labelled ‘for future grandkids’. When I was told that it wasn’t medically safe for me to have kids, she was really disappointed and apparently the idea of adoption never occurred to her. I’ve had a great big cat for years and he acts like a baby, so we like to joke that he’s the closest she’ll get to a grandbaby from me. We have relatives visiting from out of the country.)

Me: *cradling the cat* “Here’s the little man.”

Mom: “Ah, my little grandchild!”

Cousin: *to my mom* “I bet you can’t wait for human grandchildren, can you?”

Mom: “Well, I might get them from [sibling’s names], but not her.”

Me: *dryly* “Hello, mom! I can still adopt.”

Mom: “Well those wouldn’t be my real grandchildren, not like him.” *scratches the cat’s ears*

Me: “Mom, he’s a cat. If I gave birth to a cat I’d have a television show.”