Just Got Servered

(I am answering phones at a company which provides a free trial service of our main product, which we mostly sell to other businesses. Unfortunately, what many people who sign up for the trial want to do is to run ‘Minecraft’ servers, and rarely ever pay us at the end of the trial, so we institute a policy of not allowing game servers of any sort of our trial.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

(The caller is pre-pubescent.)

Caller: “Uh, I work for Mojang…?”

Me: “No. No, you don’t.” *click*

(My coworkers look over and stare at me for a bit. I explained, but am interrupted by the phone ringing again from the same number. I switch on the speakerphone.)

Me: “[Company]. This is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, Uh, I work for Mojang. I’d like a free trial…?”

Me: “Certainly. I’ll just need you to send us an email from your Mojang email address.”

(I keep a straight face and voice while the rest of the office cracks up in the background.)

Caller: *click*

(He emailed and called in a few more times trying to get a trial, at first claiming to be from Mojang, then claiming to be from his dad’s company. We somehow saw through his cunning ploy each time. He finally fessed up that he was twelve and just wanted to play ‘Minecraft.’ We thanked him for his honesty, but did not give him a trial.)