Just Buy Eggs-actly What Is Written
Customer: “Can you help me find the eggplants?”
Me: “We’re standing right next to them.” *Picks one up.* “Here.”
Customer: “These are where eggs come from?!”
Me: “No, that’s just the name of this fruit. Actual eggs are laid by birds.”
Customer: *Looks at his shopping list, then at the eggplant label, then back at me.* “I thought something was up when my wife wrote me this list. I thought she was pranking me.”
Me: “I don’t think writing eggplants on a shopping list is pranking you.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! Then what would you call it?!”
Me: “I’d call it your wife wanting you to buy her some eggplants.”
Customer: “‘Eggplant’ isn’t a very clear instruction!”
Me: “It’s literally the name of the item. Unless you’re the kind of person who sees the name and expects to find a plant with actual eggs growing out of it, it’s pretty clear.”
Customer: “…whatever.”
The customer tutted but still grabbed the eggplant. I later saw him buying a dozen chicken eggs, probably just to be safe.
