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Just Blew Her Carrot Top

, , , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

(My family is at the store, buying groceries. This particular store happens to have a smoothie bar, and my mother decides that she would like something to drink. My parents wait in line while my brother and I go to get the smoothie for her. While there, we are treated to this interaction. There is a respectable-looking woman at the front of the line, who has just hung up on her cell phone.)

Woman: “One [smoothie], please!”

Cashier: “Sure. Small, medium, or large?”

Woman: “A large. Extra ice.”

Cashier: “Your total is [total]. [Employee near the blender], one large [smoothie] with extra ice!”

(The woman pays. The cashier moves on to the next customer and the woman moves over to watch her drink get made. The employee begins making the woman’s drink and puts a peeled carrot into the blender.)

Woman: *suddenly angry* “No, no, no! You don’t put carrots in first! You put in the tangerines!”

Employee: *looking surprised* “I’m sorry?”

Woman:Tangerines are first! Not carrots!”

Employee: *still surprised* “Ma’am, this is a [smoothie]. Both carrots and tangerines go in here.”

Woman: “But the tangerines are first!

Employee: *looks unsure of what to do*

Woman: “You f****** idiot! I’m going to speak to your manager!”

(She marches off, and most of the people in the area seem to roll their eyes or groan. When my brother and I get to the front of the line, this happens:)

Woman: *stomps back to the front of the line, shoving me backwards towards my brother and the two men behind me* “A MEETING! WHAT MANAGER HAS MEETINGS?!”

Cashier: *looking slightly irritated* “Ma’am—”

Woman:All of you f****** idiots should be fired!

(She stomps back out of the line and shoves me back again, loudly informing everyone that she plans to call the “boss of the stores.”)

Cashier: *sighs and turns towards me and my brother* “And what would you like?”

Me: *regaining my balance* “…”

Brother: *still staring in the woman’s direction* “Uh… We’ll have a small [other smoothie].”

Cashier: “That will be [total].”

Brother: *hands cashier money* “Thanks. Do you have to deal with her often?”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Oh, yeah, she’s a regular—”

Brother: “Ouch.”

Cashier: “But this was a pretty good day for her.”

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