From Merely Nosy To Way Too Cozy

(My husband and I have driven to a gas station to buy some batteries.)

Employee #1: “Are you two married?”

Me: *nods affirmatively*

Employee #1: “How long have y’all been married?”

Me: *smiling* “Almost a year!”

Employee #1: “Aww! Are y’all from here?”

Husband: “No.”

Employee #1: “How long have you guys lived here?”

Me: “Since last June.”

Employee #1: “Where are you originally from?”

Husband: “Florida.”

Employee #1: “Really? Where in Florida?”

Employee #2: “He’s really nosy, sorry!”

Me: “Near Tampa.”

Employee #1: “Why the h*** did you come all the way out here?!”

Husband: “We’re stationed here with the Air Force.”

Employee #1: “Oh, I gotcha. Do you guys have any kids?”

Husband: “No way!”

Me: “Not yet.”

Employee #1: “Do you want any?”

Me: “Eventually, yes.”

Employee #2: *motions to Employee #1* “He really wants kids!”

Employee #1: “Well, if you ever have an ‘oops’ baby, you could always give it to me!”

(At this point, Employee #2 finally finishes our transaction.)

Me: “Yeah… if we ever need to get rid of a baby, we’ll know to give it to the guy at the gas station on Highway 81.”

(We ran out after that.)