Just Be Glad I Said Something Nice

[Coworker] is a bit of a pill — argumentative and difficult just for fun. I always try to get along with everyone, and as it’s so close to Christmas, it seems everyone is feeling festive.

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

Coworker: “Err, I think you will find that it’s actually ‘happy holidays’.”

Me: “Well, sure, I guess, but I know you celebrate Christmas.”

Coworker: “Ugh, that’s not the point. What if I didn’t? What if I took offence?”

Me: “Firstly, I have never met anyone who took offence, ever. And I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t sure.”

Coworker: “But how? How could you be sure?”

Me: “Aside from celebrating Christmas in the office for the last four years? It’s probably the fact that you are wearing a Christmas jumper with the words ‘Merry Christmas’ on it.”

Coworker: “Well, that’s not the same.”