Jurassic Snark

I’m a stickler for grammar, but I’m not the grammar police, and I don’t correct anyone’s grammar unless asked or I am reviewing their work. A coworker (and friend) knows this and likes to give me an eye twitch by using the wrong words on purpose on the company’s instant messaging app.

It should also be noted that he’s a massive dinosaur fanboy and has lots of models on his desk, all sorted by the order in which they all lived on the historical record, oldest to youngest, left to right.

I’m messaging him one morning:

Me: “So those reports are going to be delayed, so we’ve been given an extension until Friday to review them for any issues.”

Coworker: “Werd.”

Me: “Why do you hate me?”

Coworker: “Wot argh yew torque-ing aye bout?”

Me: “You’re trying to trigger me.”

Coworker: “Eye don’t no wot yiu mien.”

Me: “I’m not going to let it bother me.”

Coworker: “Eats just werds.”

Me: “You’re going to go to lunch and come back to find all your model dinosaurs out of historical order. Would be a shame if a Triassic Era creature came after a Cretaceous one.”

Coworker: “You monster.”

Me: “Eats just die know sores.”

Coworker: “Fine… truce.”