Jurassic Bark
A couple of years ago, I was in the big box store’s break room. One coworker is showing off photos from the weekend. I will never forget the following interaction for as long as I live:
Dog-Owning Coworker: “Look at my dog in this little T. rex mask! He wouldn’t let us take it off!”
The phone makes its way around. The dog does indeed look adorable. Then—
Other Coworker: *Passing by, squints at the screen.* “Wait… are they selling dinosaurs now?”
The group at the table goes dead quiet.
Dog-Owning Coworker: “…what?”
Other Coworker: “Mini dinosaurs. Like, as pets?”
Coworker #1: *Desperately trying to give him an ‘out’.* “[Other Coworker], are you talking about dinosaur clothes… for pets?”
Other Coworker: “No, like actual mini dinosaurs.”
Coworker #1: “That’s not a real thing. Wait, are you being serious? You actually think we have real dinosaurs now?”
Other Coworker: “I don’t know, maybe? With all the cloning and DNA stuff these days. AI and… quantum computing?”
Coworker #1: “Are you just saying tech words?”
Coworker #1: “[Other Coworker], that’s the plot to Jurassic Park. It’s not real.”
Other Coworker: “Well, I don’t really follow the news anyway.”
He shrugs and walks off to his desk. The silence lasts three beats before someone bursts out laughing. Then the floodgates open. For the rest of the day, our coworkers are going up to [Other Coworker] to see which other movie plots he thinks are real:
Coworker #1: “Bro, you know where I can get a pet Mogwai? I promise not to feed it after midnight!”
Coworker #2: “So dinosaurs are out, dragons are in. Can I go to the regular pet stores, or do I need to hit up Diagon Alley?”
Coworker #3: “So I bought this big slimy egg from Petco the other day, and it hatched overnight. Woke up with a splitting headache. Should I be worried about sudden chest pains?”
[Other Coworker] took it in good spirits.
Later that week, [Dog-Owning Coworker] brought their dog into the store on their day off, with the same mask, and became a creature of legend among us staff. [Other Coworker] took a picture of himself with the dog, and it became his phone’s background screen for the rest of the time I worked there.
