Juices And Staplers And Moles… Oh My!

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2017

(I’d made an appointment to meet with an investment specialist at my local bank.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to meet with Mr. [Specialist]. Is he in?”

Employee: “Well, you’ve got me, instead!” *laughs* “Do you mind if I drink my juice?”

Me: “No, go right ahead.”

Employee: “Thanks! I’m on a juice cleanse to lose weight. I miss eating.”

Me: “I bet…”

Employee: “Fruit and veggies are so expensive! Can you believe how much apples are? They used to be $3 a pound; now they’re $5 a pound! That adds up, you know?”

Me: “Sure.”

Employee: “Anyway, let’s talk about your finances.”

Me: “Okay!”

I’m just thinking, “Finally…”

Employee: *suddenly stares at her arm* “Is that a new mole? Uh-oh!” *stares a bit longer* “Anyway, your finances. Sign here, please, and I’ll just staple the papers— OH, NO!”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Argh! My coworkers think that it’s funny to hide my stapler. I brought it from another branch because it’s a great stapler. Technically, I guess it was stealing, but I didn’t really take it; I just moved it, see? But now I can’t find it and I have to use this crappy stapler.”

Me: “That’s too bad…”

Employee: “People tell me that I’m way too chirpy and friendly to work at a bank, but I just love people! Anyway, that’s all I need from you. Have a great day! Byeeee!”

(I was so glad to get out of there. I just hope that she was actually a bank employee and not some weirdo who wandered in off the street.)


This story is part of our Bad Bankers roundup!

Read the next Bad Bankers roundup story!

Read the Bad Bankers roundup!

1 Thumbs
451