Juices And Staplers And Moles… Oh My!

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2017

(I’d made an appointment to meet with an investment specialist at my local bank.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to meet with Mr. [Specialist]. Is he in?”

Employee: “Well, you’ve got me, instead!” *laughs* “Do you mind if I drink my juice?”

Me: “No, go right ahead.”

Employee: “Thanks! I’m on a juice cleanse to lose weight. I miss eating.”

Me: “I bet…”

Employee: “Fruit and veggies are so expensive! Can you believe how much apples are? They used to be $3 a pound; now they’re $5 a pound! That adds up, you know?”

Me: “Sure.”

Employee: “Anyway, let’s talk about your finances.”

Me: “Okay!”

I’m just thinking, “Finally…”

Employee: *suddenly stares at her arm* “Is that a new mole? Uh-oh!” *stares a bit longer* “Anyway, your finances. Sign here, please, and I’ll just staple the papers— OH, NO!”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Argh! My coworkers think that it’s funny to hide my stapler. I brought it from another branch because it’s a great stapler. Technically, I guess it was stealing, but I didn’t really take it; I just moved it, see? But now I can’t find it and I have to use this crappy stapler.”

Me: “That’s too bad…”

Employee: “People tell me that I’m way too chirpy and friendly to work at a bank, but I just love people! Anyway, that’s all I need from you. Have a great day! Byeeee!”

(I was so glad to get out of there. I just hope that she was actually a bank employee and not some weirdo who wandered in off the street.)

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