Jesus, The Only MasterCard You’ll Ever Need

Me: “Thanks for calling Credit Card Services, how may I help you today?”

Cardmember: “Yeah, I was just looking over my statement and see I was charged a late fee. Why?”

Me: “Well, when we receive a payment past the due date, a late fee is normally assessed to the account. Do you have any idea why we received the payment late?”

Cardmember: “I was on vacation and didn’t send it in until the 12th.”

Me: “Well, the payment was due on the 8th and there is usually at least seven days between customers sending in their payment until we can receive and process them.”

Cardmember: “Well, can you waive that fee for me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since the fee was billed appropriately, there isn’t any way that it can be removed.”

Cardmember: “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

Me: “How is that in any way relevant to this conversation?”

Cardmember: “Jesus would waive my fee!”

Me: “Jesus wouldn’t own a bank.”