Jesus Entitles You To Nothing

(The thrift store I work at has a valued customer promotion. Spend twenty dollars, get a stamp. Ten stamps gets you 50% off an entire purchase. At the time of this story, I have been on the register a month. A customer comes up to the register, pulling three full shopping carts.)

Customer: “So you know, I have a full shopper’s card.”

Me: “All right. Could I see the card please?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have it with me. I left it at home. But you can trust me.” *she shows her cross necklace* “I’m a Christian.”

Me: “Ma’am, without the actual card, I can’t give you the discount. Your faith isn’t a good enough reason to give you the discount.”

Customer: “Why, don’t you trust a Christian woman?”

Me: “Ma’am, on the list of answers to the question, ‘What would Jesus do?’ I’m pretty sure ‘defraud a thrift store’ is nowhere on it. What I can do is ring up your purchases until you hit two hundred dollars, then give you the full stamp card to get the discount on the rest of the order.”

Customer: “No, I have a full card and you will honor it, because I’m a Christian.”

Me: “Ma’am, may I just say ‘Render unto [Store] what is [Store]’s, and render unto God what is God’s.’”

(At this point, the manager arrives and deals with the customer. Afterward, the manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “She’s tried that before, on other new cashiers. You handled that well.”

Me: “You don’t grow up in a church without learning how to deal with ‘Christians’ like that.”

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