Jehovah’s Witless, Part 5

(My fiancé and I are home one afternoon when the doorbell rings. I open the door only to find a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses there. I happen to be agnostic while my fiancé is Christian, and we try to politely decline. My fiancé happens to be terrified of zombies and vampires and the like.)

Jehovah’s Witness #1: “Have you heard of the resurrection?”

Fiancé: “Of Christ? Yeah.”

Jehovah’s Witness #2: “Oh, no, when He comes back and brings back all the loved ones that have passed.”

Fiancé: *eyes widen in terror*

Jehovah’s Witness #2: “Oh, honey, it’s nothing to be afraid of!”

Me: “Oh, no, you don’t understand. You say the loved ones coming back, and his first thought is zombies.”

(Both women look at us in shock for a moment, one turning away and the other lingering just a moment to give us a parting comment.)

Jehovah’s Witness #1: “Oh, we don’t want you.”