Jehovah’s Witless, Part 2

(My foot is broken after I am knocked off my motorbike by a lady who was late for church, and the cast the hospital puts on me causes a blood clot behind my knee. I’m finally being released on Christmas Eve after a week in hospital. Because it is so close to Christmas, due to staff shortages I’ve been on the cancer ward with a mentally challenged girl who had kept me awake all night, every night. I’m in pain and short-tempered as a result, waiting for my family to get the car so I can leave. I’m hobbling through the discharge area on crutches, with a leg brace on, a backpack, a water bottle and another bag full of my belongings from my stay.)

Random Lady: “Here, I have a gift for you.” *tries to hand me a pamphlet*

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any spare hands and my family is waiting for me.”

Random Lady: “Do you want to hear your message from the Lord?” *keeps trying to stuff the pamphlet into my hands*

Me: “Can you leave me alone?” *tries to hop around her*

Random Lady: “This is important! You need to hear the message!”

Me: “You can get out of my way or I will hit you with my crutches!”

Random Lady: *stuffs the pamphlet into my bag* “This is important!”

Me: *finally managed to get out the door and into the car* “What is with all the crazy religious people trying to get me?”

Mum: “Want to go to church tomorrow for Christmas?”

Me: “F*** you.”