Jehovah’s Witless, Part 10

(My family and I live in a very rural area, so the only people that ever come to visit is either my extended family, very close friends, or the postman, who only comes around in the afternoon. Thus, I’m very relaxed about opening the door; or at least I used to be. My friend has stayed over and we watched movies all night and made a mess. One morning I open the front door to find what I assumed to be a really cute gay couple with a little boy standing in front of it. I’m only wearing my pyjamas, consisting of boxer shorts and a short crop top, since it’s summer and pretty warm. Utterly confused as to why a gay couple with a child would ring my doorbell at eight am on the weekend, I greet them.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Them: “Good morning… Uh… is… now not a good time?”

Me: “Actually, you woke me up.”

Them: “Oh. Sorry.”

(I now assume them to be new neighbours, since the house closest to ours was sold recently, to a couple with a son, as far as I knew.)

Them: “I guess we’ll come back later.”

Me: “That would be nice, sorry.”

Them: “Here.” *giving me some kind of brochure and retreating*

(I close the door and stumble back inside, to where my friend has woken up.)

Friend: “Who was that?”

Me: “Gay couple with kid. Probably our new neighbours.”

(I drop down to the sofa next to her and look at the brochure, going completely pale. She takes it from my hands. It is very obviously about something religious, and the realization that I basically answered the door half naked to a RELIGIOUS couple with a child sinks in. My best friend takes the brochure.)

Friend: “They weren’t a couple. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses.”