Janeway Wouldn’t Stand For It

(I am the customer in the story, pulling up to the drive-thru in a popular fast food place.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order, please?”

Me: “I would like a large black coffee, please. That will be all.”

Employee: “How many cream and sugar? Would you like it in or on the side?”

(Thinking it was just habit on her side.)

Me: “Just black, please. Large.”

Employee: “So…. How many?”

Me: “None. Zero. Nada. Nein.”

Employee: “None at all?”

Me: “No!”

Employee: “And what size?”

Me: *now starting to think I am being pranked* “Large. Coffee. Black. Meaning no cream or sugar. That’s it.”

Employee: “Anything else for you today?”

Me: “No! That’s all!”

(I pull around and pay at the first window without incident. However when I pull to the second window the young girl is leaning “my” order out the window while turned talking to someone inside. I begin to try to get her attention.)

Me: “Excuse me! Ma’am!”

Employee: “Here, take your order!”

Me: “That is not my order.”

Employee: *sighs* “How can you even tell? You haven’t looked in the bag.”

Me: “Because all I ordered was a large black coffee and you are trying to hand me $20 worth of food. Although I appreciate free food, I already ate and all I want is some coffee. PLEASE.”

(Employee took it back and handed me a small coffee and a bag. I give up and drive off. I look in the bag thinking maybe they gave me a free sandwich or something. It was filled with creamers and sugars.)