iYeet

I work for a tech giant named after a fruit in their customer service call center.

Caller: “So, I threw my iPhone out my car window.”

Me: “Uh, okay?”

Caller: “Yeah, I threw it out of the window of my car while driving high speed on the highway. My mom was being sooooo annoying on the phone, so I told her to f*** off and I just threw it away. It was one of the best feelings in the world for like, five seconds, but then I regretted it.”

Me: “Okay.”

I’m not too sure what else to say, but this is already my best call all day.

Caller: “So I backed up for almost a mile and found it, but it was smashed pretty badly.”

Me: “Are you asking if it can be replaced under warranty? Because, after that story, I don’t know…”

Caller: “I don’t really want it replaced. The last few days without the phone have been amazing.”

Me: “So what’s the reason for your call today, sir?”

Caller: “I just called to tell the story to someone. Anyway, have a nice day…” *Click.*

I guess I mark that call as ‘resolved’?