You Would Not Be-Leaf The 2nd Gift

(It is Christmas, and I’m opening presents.)

Dad: “Open that one next, sweetie.”

(He points to a box, which I open. Inside is one of those obnoxious singing and dancing robot Christmas trees. I’m a bit shocked and dismayed, as I had pointed out how much I hate these things when we went shopping the week before Christmas.)

Me: “Uh, weren’t you listening when I said I thought these were the most annoying things ever?”

Dad: “I know, I know. But… open that one next.”

(This time he points to a long, heavy package. I eye him suspiciously, but open it up to reveal a sledgehammer.)

Me: “What the? Is this for what I think it’s for?”

Dad: “And you thought I wasn’t paying attention!”