I’ve Got Twenty Assumptions In My Pocket

(My family is not quite at the poverty line but as close as you can get without being able to qualify for any financial help. As such, we keep money tight, and I buy almost all my clothes from a nearby thrift shop. Note: Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” song has recently come out.)

Me: “Excuse me, but where are the women’s shirts? I think they got moved.”

Cashier: “Look kid, you’re not going to be popular for wearing s*** from a thrift shop. You just look homeless. Go back to [expensive store].”

Me: “No, I come here all the time. I can’t afford [expensive store], and never have. Where are the women’s shirts?”

Cashier: “Kid, I have never seen you before. Just look up on your fancy little iPhone sixty-whatever and find the nearest [expensive store].”

Me: “You’re assuming I have an iPhone?”

Cashier: “Fine, off-brand or maybe 4, whatever. Just stop pretending that you’re gonna be cool for wearing old clothes.”

Me: “Get me your manager.”

Cashier: “Pfft, why should I? So you can make some sob story and get cheap-a** clothes for free so you can still buy your [expensive store] brand shoes?”

Me: “Manager. Now.”

(Reluctantly, the cashier gets the manager.)

Manager: “What’s the problem, [cashier]? Oh, [my name], nice to see you.”

Me: “I asked where the women’s shirts got moved to and [cashier] just told me off, rudely, to go to [expensive store] because I’m not going to be cool in thrift shop clothes.”

Cashier: “It’s true though! That “Thrift Shop” song is total BS. All we ever get now are teens buying clothes to look cool, and it doesn’t work!”

Manager: “[Cashier], this is [my name], and her family comes here all the time. It’s the only clothes they can afford. Sometimes they can’t even afford it. She doesn’t care about being cool. I don’t think she’s ever even *been* in [expensive store]. Go in back and wait for me.”

Cashier: *leaves*

Manager: “This is the third time this week I’ve gotten a complaint about him. The women’s shirts are over in the corner that way…”

(When I came back next week for shoes for my brother, the cashier had been fired.)