I’ve Got A Lunch Hunch

(Over the past few months, a huge number of people’s lunches and food have gone missing from the break room fridge. I set up a camera and catch the culprit taking a lunch. I have to sit down for a write-up with her and her supervisor.)

Me: “We called you in because I have evidence that you’ve stolen from a coworker.”

Employee: “I’m not a thief! I didn’t steal anything.”

Me: “Okay, I have the video here, and your supervisor has already watched it. It clearly shows you taking someone else’s food out of the refrigerator and eating it.”

Employee: *laughing* “Oh, that’s not stealing.”

Supervisor: “Yes… Yes, it is. In fact, my lunch went missing a week ago; was that you, as well?”

Employee: “I have to do that, though! I only get a twenty-minute break. It’s just long enough to throw food down my throat. I don’t even get a chance to enjoy it; I just have to throw it down.”

Me: “That’s a standard break for a four-hour shift, and it doesn’t mean you can steal from others.”

Employee: “You don’t understand! I can’t go out for a meal in that time. I can’t have a good meal. I’m just eating as fast as I can.”

Supervisor: “But you have taken other’s things. Just bring your own food, or buy from the vending machine.”

Employee: “But that’s money! It’s not fair that I have to just shove food down that I paid for.”

Me: “Okay. I need you to understand that this counts as a final written warning. Any other problems, and we will be letting you go.”

(Two days later, an employee tells me that their lunch is missing again. I review the footage and find the same employee stealing the lunch. I find her on the floor and hand her her termination papers.)

Employee: “You can’t do that! It’s not fair! I thought you would stop recording after you caught me the first time! You had to tell me you were still watching the fridge! I’m going to sue.”

(I kind of hope she does. I’d love to hear her argument in court!)