It’s The Small Things That Are Important

(I’m ordering at the concessions stand at my favorite movie theater. Their popcorn sizes have always been small, regular, and large, exactly as indicated on the menu board. Popcorn buckets of all three sizes are stacked behind the counter.)

Me: “I’d like a small popcorn and a small coke, please.”

Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

Me: *points at the smallest bucket* “This is small popcorn. I’d like popcorn from a bucket this size, please.”

Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn. This is regular popcorn. We don’t have small popcorn.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s always been small, regular, and large here. You should probably change the menu so people don’t get confused.”

Cashier: *blank stare*

Me: “Oh well. I’d like what used to be small popcorn. So, regular popcorn. From this bucket.” *points at the smallest bucket again*

Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

(This exchange goes on for a minute or two. I don’t know what to say anymore, so I reach over the counter, grab the bucket and hand it to the cashier.)

Me: “Please fill this with popcorn and price me. I’d also like a small [Soda] with that.”

Cashier: “But we don’t have small [Soda]…”