It’s The Principle Of The Matter

(I am second in line, and it’s early morning on a Thursday. The area has just gotten a severe weather warning about freezing rain and hail. In front of me is a chipper customer chatting with the clerk as she pays for her 40-oz bottles of malt liquor.)

Customer: “I got four of these. Does the two for five bucks still apply?”

Clerk: “Sure does. You got the day off, do you?”

Customer: “Yep, I work for the school district, and school’s been cancelled! I’m gonna get shit-faced before noon!”

Clerk: *slightly shocked* “Okay, well, that’s $10.20. Have fun.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not teaching your kids. I’m the principal!”