It’s Nuts To Go Without Coconuts

(I work at a bakery that’s famous for its coconut cream pie. We sell the pie four different ways: full-sized, baby, slices, and little individual bites. It’s nearing the end of the day and it’s getting slow, so my coworker has gone upstairs to do restock and I’m left puttering around behind the counter, doing various little pieces of side-work. A very well-dressed woman in her fifties or sixties comes in and I greet her.)

Customer: “I heard you’re famous for your coconut cream pie!”

Me: “Yep! It’s the favorite, for sure. We sell it at all the locations in [Company].”

Customer: “I have a question about it.”

(It’s tourist season, and has been for about a month, and it’s not unusual for non-locals to want to know about the pie. I figure it will be one of the standard questions, like what makes it a TRIPLE coconut cream pie, etc.) 

Me: “Ask away!”

Customer: “What does coconut taste like?”

Me: *pause* “What?”

(I think she is joking at first, but eventually, I realize she isn’t. Because I have no idea how to even begin to explain the flavor of coconut, I start asking her if she’s ever eaten anything with coconut in it — Almond Joys, macaroons, Sno-Balls, doughnuts with coconut flakes — but she apparently has not.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m really not sure how to explain the flavor. But I can go and ask the pastry kitchen if they have any coconut flakes lying around so you can try them?”

Customer: “No, thanks! I’ll just get the pie bite.”

(I gave her the bite and rung her up, and she happily left. I still have no idea if she somehow managed to go through her entire life without eating coconut or if she was making a joke in the most deadpan way possible. It’s definitely one of the most bemusing customer experiences I’ve had to date. Honestly, it’s a small miracle that I didn’t just laugh in her face when she asked the question.)