It’s Not Paranoia If They’re Really Out To Get You

, , , , | Working | June 8, 2020

My family and I are eating out at a restaurant in celebration for my brother’s eighteenth birthday. It’s all-you-can-eat, and some of the food you cook for yourself at your table. 

We are eating and when suddenly my Nonno — grandpa — falls backward on his chair, pushing the table behind him and scratching his knee on the grill holder under it. He is unharmed and is quick to get up. A worker rushes over.

Worker: “Are you okay?!”

Nonno: “Yes, I think I had too much wine!”

We keep eating and my brother keeps going after we’re done; he picked up too much food but there is a rule that you have to pay an extra $10 if you waste any food. He is wearing out the grill which is powered by hot coals, and hot oil begins to spray up like a blowhole. The same worker comes and quickly takes all the parts away

Uncle: “I don’t think the restaurant likes us today!”

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