It’s Nice That Sad Excuses For Human Beings Can Dine Together

As the new guy, I am given the task of opening up the restaurant. This meant arranging tables and setting them up, stocking the bar and waiters’ station, counting the register, and confirming reservations for the day.

Before anyone else on staff shows up to work, a loud knock comes from our locked front door. I go to see who’s there, and two elderly women want to come in and be seated for service.

Me: “We open for service at 11:30.”

They aren’t having it.

Ladies: “We wanted to be seated now. We have a Groupon which is set to expire, and we demand service. Your website says you open at 10:30!”

Me: “We can’t have people in the restaurant while we are setting up, but I’ll be happy to take care of you when we open.”

Ladies: “Are you a manager?”

Me: “No.”

Ladies: “You look too stupid to be a manager.”

They then sit themselves in our outdoor patio area. Fine. They are out of my way, so I can proceed with my tasks, except they decide to start calling the restaurant. The phone rings, I go over to pick it up, they swear at me, I hang up, and they do it again. After the third or fourth time, I just let the phone ring. The other old lady gets up and just starts pounding on the door to be let in while the other is on the phone, letting it ring.

At this point, the other waiter on schedule shows up and asks what’s going on. I explain, and he goes out to tell them the same things I did, and they gave him the same treatment.

11:30 rolls around and the kitchen is up and ready for service. The two old ladies barge in and shove their Groupon coupon in my coworker’s face.

Coworker: “Ma’am, our establishment does not accept Groupons. If you had read the name and address of the restaurant the Groupon is attached to and compared it to the name of our restaurant on the front door you’ve been pounding on for the past hour, you would have discovered that you are at the wrong restaurant.”

They slunk off, but it doesn’t end there. They went online and posted a review about what a horrible restaurant experience they had, how we were infested with rats, and how we should all be fired.