It’s My Way Or The Driveway

, , , , , , | Right | October 19, 2020

I deliver groceries to customers in my van. We have this one particular troublesome customer who has complained many times, mostly about us parking in her driveway. For some reason, any vehicle in her driveway sends her absolutely ballistic and results in our call center getting a flood of complaints. None of us understand it, as she doesn’t own a car herself, and her cul-de-sac has plenty of room so we wouldn’t be blocking anyone else in; she’s just chosen that particular hill to die on.

Today, is it storming heavily: wind, rain, localised flooding, you name it. I’m already wet and in a bad mood for my shift when I realise who I have next, and my heart sinks. I pull up to her very long driveway, look at the weather and say to myself:

Me: “F*** it.”

I park in her driveway, get out of the van, and am about to start unloading her groceries when I hear some shouting. It must have truly been cacophonous for me to hear it over the wind and rain. I look up and see a fuming red face leaning out of an upstairs window.

Customer: “How dare you! Get your van off my driveway! Now! Get it off!”

Me: “Ma’am! I am from [Supermarket] and I have a delivery for you!”

Customer: “Get your van off my driveway! You are forbidden to park on my driveway!”

Yes, she uses the word “forbidden.” Trying to prevent her personal meltdown, I drive the van back up to the entrance to her driveway, a good thirty metres from her front door (it’s a rather rich area!).

“Fine!” I think to myself. If she doesn’t want me on her driveway, then I shall do as I am told. I exit the van, to see the customer has now come downstairs and opened her front door, no doubt expecting me to carry each heavy box the thirty metres to her front door.

Nope.

Her face, amazingly, turns an even deeper shape of red as I start to unload all her groceries right there at the door of my van, all in plastic bags but still exposed to the elements. I can hear her roaring and complaining but due to the distance and weather I can’t make out any words, and honestly, I don’t care. 

I quickly finish unloading the groceries, sarcastically tip my hat to the screaming mass of customer still standing at her front door, and drive off.

I finish my deliveries and get back to the supermarket at the end of the day, and my manager approaches me.

Manager: “I got a complaint about you today.”

Me: “Let me guess; driveway lady?”

Manager: “The very same.”

Me: “What did she say?”

Manager: “A lot of swearing. She wants you fired.”

Me: “Am I?”

Manager: “No. Instead, I told her she’s no longer a welcome customer with us and has been blacklisted, and she will have to come in and get her own d*** groceries from now on.”

And all because she couldn’t handle our van being on her huge driveway!


Tell your story today! Ever been able to maliciously comply with a bad customer? Share it with the NAR community so we can all enjoy it too!

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