It’s Much Quieter Without Your Shushing

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 22, 2020

My friends and I have gone to see a movie. There are six of us, all sitting in a row, chatting amiably back and forth as we wait for the previews to start. We hear a noise from the man sitting behind us.

Man: “SHHHH!”

We look at each other in disbelief. The screen is blank, the lights are still up, EVERYONE in the theatre is chatting, and we aren’t even being loud. Just then, the lights go down and the previews start, so we stop talking. There’s just one problem: there’s no sound with the previews. It’s like we’re watching a silent movie.

Friend #1: “Aw, man, what’s all this?”

Man: “SHHHHHHH!”

He starts kicking our seats.

Friend #2: *Quietly* “What the h*** is his deal?”

Friend #3: “Forget him. I’m going to go tell an usher that we’ve got speaker problems.”

He grins evilly as he says that, and I know he’s up to something. [Friend #3] is a bit of a prankster. Sure enough, when he comes back, [Friend #3] talks to us loud enough so that the guy behind us can hear him.

Friend #3: “The usher said there’s nothing they can do. The entire movie is going to be silent.”

Man: “WHAT?!”

And he stomped out of the theatre. The movie started a few minutes later and the sound worked just fine. The “SHHHH” guy never came back.

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