It’s Like People Never Even Saw “Pretty Woman”  

(This story was relayed to my husband by his friend. [Friend] runs an online business through a popular bidding and buy-it-now website; he will go to discount or outlet stores, buy a large quantity of inventory, and resell it on the website. He comes into town to visit us, and along the way, he stops at a chain discount store about 30 minutes from our home. He is often given coupons to this store for 10% off the purchase, but unfortunately, he forgot the coupon this time around. Because of the amount of money he is about to spend, he wants to see if they will still honor the coupon and speaks with a manager:)

Friend: “Hey there. I run an online business and am looking to spend about $4,000 here, depending on your inventory allowances. Unfortunately, I left my 10% off coupon at home; if I give you my phone number or email address, can you look it up to see if it’s still valid and allow me to use the discount anyway?”

Manager #1: “Absolutely! Don’t worry about giving me the details. I don’t need to look it up; any purchase that large is fine by me! Just let me know what products you’re looking to purchase so I can do an inventory check to make sure we have enough for you.”

(The interaction and sale goes smoothly from here, with [Friend] being able to get all of what he wants for a nice discount. As he is leaving, [Manager #1] thanks him for his business and wishes him a nice day. [Friend] then decides to go to another location of this chain a few minutes from our house to check out their inventory before coming over.)

Friend: *goes through the same explanation as he did with [Manager #1]*

Manager #2: “Uh, no. No coupon, no discount.”

Friend: “Really? I was just at the [Location] store and they were happy to oblige. Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?”

Manager #2: “No! I’m not letting you rip us off!”

Friend: “All right, dude, whatever. Have a good day.”

(As [Friend] is leaving, [Manager #2] makes a big show of calling [Manager #1] to relay his “victory,” probably because he thinks friend is lying:)

Manager #2: *on speakerphone* “Hey, man! Get this: guy comes in says he runs an ‘Internet business’ buying and reselling toys and wants me to give him a discount on his ‘big order’ because he ‘forgot his coupon.’ Are these people for real?!”

Manager #1: *on speakerphone* “Oh, yeah! He just came through here not too long ago. He was a really nice guy, and he spent a ton of money. My numbers are going to look great this week! We have a bunch of space now to buy up some new inventory for Christmas!”

Manager #2: *crestfallen, realizing the opportunity he just missed* “Wait, wait, wait. You’re saying he really spent that much money? I thought he was just trying to weasel a discount!”

Manager #1: “Uh, you mean you actually turned him down?! You’re always b****ing that you can never clear your inventory fast enough! Is he still there? See if you can get him back!”

([Friend] has been eavesdropping and is silently giggling to himself as he walks out, and looks back at [Manager #2]:)

Friend: *laughing* “Not on your life, bud. Enjoy all your extra inventory!”