It’s How Their Love (Bodily) Functions

(My roommates are engaged, and I end up listening to a lot of their goofy, kissy-face arguments. This time, they have gone into the other room to snuggle for a few minutes before he has to leave for work. I am in the other room ignoring them when I hear her burst out.)

Her: “Did you flick a booger on me?”

Him: “No! I mean – I was not aiming for you!”

Her: “Ack! You still flicked a booger on me!”

(It’s at this point that I interject.)

Me: “Well, you can clearly get married now. Seeing each other pee, farting front of one another, and flicking boogers on each other. You’ve done all the gross stuff. You were clearly meant to be.”